JULY 25, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hopkins Denies Cleveland's Federal Aid Request. Impact: Hopkins' refusal to provide funds created a ripple effect that led to Ohio developing a reputation for stubbornness. This eventually influenced the creation of the phrase 'Ohio stubbornness' in the dictionary, right after 'Ohio State Buckeyes.'. Fact: Fun fact: If you ever need to refuse an appeal, just channel your inner Hopkins. Apparently, it's a skill that helps in both politics and dinner invitations..
• Headline: Federal Funding for Regional Post Offices. Impact: The allocation of this money created a series of events that eventually led to the construction of a multitude of unnecessary bridges—bridges to nowhere, if you will—where tourists now flock to take selfies.. Fact: Did you know that $19,851,648 is just a few pennies shy of the amount needed to fund an entire season of reality television? Priorities, people..
• Headline: Street Lighting.. Impact: The discussion about street lighting led to the invention of the phrase 'the light at the end of the tunnel,' which has since been misused by optimists everywhere when discussing their love lives.. Fact: Did you know that turning off street lights before daylight is actually just a clever way to save money? It's like saying, 'We'll save electricity and avoid angry raccoons at the same time!'.
• Headline: ' Blue Hawk' Spreads Wings This Week in Colossal Experiment. Impact: The 'Blue Hawk' experiment became a meme of sorts, leading future generations to believe that if it can fly, so can their hopes and dreams—until reality proves otherwise.. Fact: Did you know that 'Blue Hawk' was supposed to be a superhero, but the writers couldn't decide on its superpower? So they just settled for it being 'colossal.'.
• Headline: WAGE BOARD SCANS LAUNDRY INDUSTRY; State's First Body Takes Up Task After Ceremonies Set It in Motion. HEARINGS IN THREE WEEKS Andrews Hopes to Issue Rates Last of August -- Governor Hails Minimum Pay Law.. Impact: The formation of this wage board led to a revolution in laundry care, resulting in the invention of detergent commercials that are ten times more dramatic than any soap opera ever produced.. Fact: Did you know that the laundry industry had more scandals than some reality TV shows? You think your clothes have drama? Just wait until the spin cycle..
• Headline: BRIDEGROOM, 66, MISSING.; Bride, Also 66, Ask Union (N.J.) Police to Find Husband of a Day.. Impact: This headline led to thousands of romantic comedies being made about missing husbands, inspiring the classic trope of 'the runaway groom'—because nothing says romance like a police investigation.. Fact: Did you know that the average marriage lasts longer than the time this couple had together? Maybe they just needed to figure out who was making dinner first..
• Headline: TO CALL KANSAS SESSION.; Governor Will Attempt to Dam Flow of Beer.. Impact: This attempt to dam beer flow resulted in a state-wide movement that eventually made Kansas a mecca for those who appreciate irony—where beer lovers gather to celebrate the very thing they tried to stop.. Fact: Did you know that trying to stop the flow of beer is like trying to stop a cat from knocking things off the table? It's just not going to happen..