JULY 12, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Police Assist in Central Park Baby Show. Impact: This seemingly innocent baby show led to an unforeseen surge in parenting reality shows, ultimately resulting in a world obsessed with watching toddlers throw tantrums on television.. Fact: Fun fact: Baby contests often end with parents arguing over who has the 'cutest' child, which is basically a precursor to reality TV drama..
• Headline: Tragic Dance Incident in 1933. Impact: The tragic accident during this dance led to stricter dance floor safety regulations, which ironically made dance competitions incredibly dull—goodbye, elbow swings!. Fact: Dance has long been a dangerous affair; remember, folks, keep those elbows to yourself!.
• Headline: Engineer Returns After Four-Month Voyage. Impact: This unfortunate soul's 'shanghaied' experience sparked a movement for better communication among family vacations, preventing countless future misunderstandings and spontaneous maritime adventures.. Fact: Ever wonder what happens when you plan a weekend getaway but end up at sea for four months? Apparently, you start a family tradition of 'mystery trips'!.
• Headline: REMINGTON RAND GAINS.; May and June Reported as Making Best Reports in Three Years.. Impact: The success of Remington Rand in this period ultimately led to the invention of the fax machine—because who doesn’t want their documents to travel at the speed of a snail?. Fact: Remington Rand was a pioneer in office equipment, so if you love your printer jamming, you can thank them for that too!.
• Headline: TEST SET FOR 'ULYSSES.'; Agreement Made fop Single Judge to Pass on Book Seizure.. Impact: This trial for 'Ulysses' opened the floodgates for literary censorship debates, leading to that glorious age when people argued over the 'right' way to read a book, as if there is a wrong way.. Fact: James Joyce's 'Ulysses' was once banned for being too scandalous. Imagine the discussions it would spark today on social media!.
• Headline: Hawley Heads State County Clerks. Impact: This appointment of Hawley led to a domino effect of clerical efficiency, resulting in the invention of the office coffee break—because what else could motivate people to file paperwork?. Fact: Being a county clerk sounds like the most thrilling job, right? It’s like being a superhero, but instead of saving the world, you’re saving forms from being lost!.
• Headline: MAX M. LOWENSTEIN.; Atlanta Candy Manufacturer Dies S|Wdenly Here.. Impact: The untimely death of this candy magnate triggered changes in the candy industry, leading to stricter safety regulations for sweets, which unfortunately stifled creative flavors like chili-chocolate.. Fact: Lowenstein's passing reminds us all that life is short—just like that last piece of candy you forgot was in your pocket!.
• Headline: FINANCES OUTLINED BY ALLIED CHEMICAL; Holdings of Its Own Shares and Other Data Demanded by Exchange Are Announced.. Impact: This financial transparency led to a new era of corporate honesty, which has now morphed into the incessant barrage of corporate jargon we endure today—thank you, Allied Chemical!. Fact: Isn't it comforting to know that financial reports have been boring since the dawn of time? At least they were honest about it!.
• Headline: BLOUSE CODE FILED; 40-HOUR WEEK SET; Minimum Wage Is $14 in Big Cities, $12 in Small Ones -- Child Labor Barred. OTHERS PREPARE TO ACT Electrical, Fisheries, Theatre, Cap and Jewelry Industries Drafting Rules.. Impact: The establishment of a blouse code led to an explosion of fashion regulations, which eventually resulted in the bizarre fashion trends we see today—thank you, blouse code!. Fact: A 40-hour workweek sounds like a dream, but let’s be real, most of us work 40 hours just to afford our next blouse!.
• Headline: MISS GERTRUDE NOLAN ENGAGED TO MARRY; Dwight Marshall, Senior at Yale, Her Fiance -- She Is a Student at Vassar.. Impact: This engagement set off a chain reaction of socialite weddings and gossip, forever cementing the idea that marrying someone from Yale makes you instantly more interesting—at least until the divorce.. Fact: Engagement announcements are the original social media posts, reminding everyone that love is in the air—or at least at the next country club gathering!.