JULY 9, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Electrical Group Drafts New Code. Impact: The birth of the electrical code led to the invention of the toaster, which created a love for burnt bread, resulting in the breakfast revolution of the 21st century. Thank you, electrical group!. Fact: Did you know that without these codes, we might still be using candlelight to draft policies? Progress, folks!.
• Headline: Devastating Cloudburst Hits Colorado. Impact: The tragic cloudburst not only claimed lives but also spurred a national conversation about disaster preparedness, ultimately leading to the creation of more resilient infrastructure—at least until the next flood.. Fact: It's said that when nature calls, she can be a bit too demanding. This cloudburst was a harsh reminder of that..
• Headline: Lake States Economic Recovery Signs. Impact: The revival in the Lake States sparked a surge in optimism that spread across the nation, ultimately leading to the invention of the 'Midwestern Cheer,' a phenomenon that includes excessive corn consumption.. Fact: If only they knew that optimism might be the best fertilizer for crops, perhaps we’d have a cornfield in every backyard!.
• Headline: CLOTHING TOPICS VARIED.; Men's Store Convention in August to Consider 90 Questions.. Impact: This convention laid the groundwork for countless debates on men’s fashion, inadvertently fueling the rise of the 'dad bod' and the subsequent dad jokes that followed.. Fact: Who knew that 90 questions about clothing could lead to a world where socks and sandals are considered a fashion statement?.
• Headline: INDICES AT 1933 PEAKS.; Commerce Department Reports Gains for Week.. Impact: The report of rising indices instilled false hope in the economy, leading to the creation of countless motivational posters that now hang in offices worldwide. Thanks for the inspiration, Commerce Department!. Fact: Apparently, 'gains' means something entirely different in economics than it does in gym class..
• Headline: SHIP POOLING PLAN HELL INEVITABLE; R.C. Lee, Who Proposed It 2 Years Ago, Says It Cuts Bars to Free Transportation. SEES EVIL IN NATIONALISM Speed in Getting Wares to Their Destination Is Shipper's Main Concern, He Explains.. Impact: The ship pooling plan led to the eventual rise of global trade, which is great until you realize it also means that your favorite snacks are shipped from halfway across the world—hello, carbon footprint!. Fact: If only R.C. Lee knew how many people would later argue about shipping fees on the internet, he might have thought twice about this plan..
• Headline: REMODELED SUITES DRAW NEW TENANTS; High Occupancy Average Is Reported for Carnegie Hall Apartments.. Impact: The popularity of these remodeled suites marked the beginning of the 'luxury apartment' trend, which is now synonymous with exorbitant rent and questionable plumbing.. Fact: These days, living in a 'remodeled suite' just means you have a fancy name for a closet with a shower..
• Headline: SPEED ON CODES VITAL TO AID BUYING POWER; Mr. Kirstein Urges Fast Action to Have Wages Rise -- Holds Trade Abuses Secondary.. Impact: Mr. Kirstein's call for speed led to an avalanche of bureaucracy that, centuries later, would create a thriving industry of speed-reading courses.. Fact: Ah yes, the age-old debate: should we act fast or let the paperwork pile up until it resembles a small mountain? Tough choice!.
• Headline: LEFT GAINS MARKED IN FINNISH ELECTION; Nazis and Other Colored-Shirt Extremist Groups Get Few Seats in Parliament.. Impact: The significant defeat of extremist groups in Finland set a precedent that echoed across Europe, leading to countless debates about democracy—while still somehow managing to inadvertently inspire fashion trends.. Fact: Finland’s fashion motto: 'Let’s not dress like extremists, shall we?'.
• Headline: RETAILERS' COUNCIL CONVENES ON CODE; Meets Here Wednesday to Act on Trade Rules Drawn Up by Member Croups. UNIFIED PROPOSALS AIM Plan for National Recovery Board to Be Suggested to Enforce Distribution Standards.. Impact: The gathering of the Retailers' Council birthed the never-ending cycle of bureaucratic meetings, which would eventually lead to the invention of coffee breaks and office memes.. Fact: Because nothing says progress like sitting in a room for hours discussing how to sell more socks!.