JULY 5, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pushing for the Child Labor Amendment. Impact: If child labor hadn't been addressed, we might have seen the rise of a new superhero: The Child Laborer, fighting against both adult-sized pants and capitalism. Thankfully, the amendment changed that.. Fact: Did you know that child labor laws were actually a thing? Because I thought kids just came with a lifetime contract for unpaid work..
• Headline: Veterans Payments Comparison by Woodring. Impact: Woodring's comments about veterans' payments sparked a series of debates, ultimately leading to the creation of the 'Veterans' Discounts Day' at local diners. Because nothing says 'thank you for your service' like a two-for-one pancake special.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'a square deal' was actually coined by a confused square trying to make a round peg fit into a square hole..
• Headline: Lenox Club Gala Luncheon 1933. Impact: Giraud Foster's re-election means that the Lenox Club probably had to endure another year of his 'fascinating' stories about the 1915 luncheon. Spoiler: It was just as thrilling as watching paint dry.. Fact: Did you know that in the 1915 annual meeting, they served the same dry turkey they do every year? Some traditions just never die..
• Headline: MISS SARAH SAM BECOMES A BRIDE /; Married in Old Lyme, Conn., to James T. Patterson Jr. of Milford. SHE HAS 8 ATTENDANTS Reception After CeremonyuBride a Granddaughter of Late Mr. and Mrs. Philip J. Sands.. Impact: The marriage of Miss Sarah Sam B to James T. Patterson Jr. set off a chain reaction of very awkward family reunions for decades to come. Who knew weddings could lead to such spicy Thanksgiving dinners?. Fact: Fun fact: Weddings are the only event where you can watch relatives you barely know argue over who gets to keep the awkward family heirloom..
• Headline: SOCIAL WORKERS NEEDED.; Volunteers Also Sought to Help in Public Health Activities.. Impact: The call for social workers to volunteer marked the start of the 'It Takes a Village' movement, where suddenly everyone felt qualified to give unsolicited advice to their neighbors. Thanks, welfare council!. Fact: Did you know that 'social workers' were invented to make sure we all remember that we shouldn't just leave our problems in the dust? It’s like therapy, but with more paperwork..
• Headline: Agee Wins 10-Mile Run For Fifth Year in Row. Impact: Agee winning for the fifth year in a row means he probably has an entire shelf dedicated to trophies that say, 'Congratulations on running fast away from all your problems!'. Fact: Did you know that in running, the only thing faster than Agee is the amount of time it takes for everyone to forget his victories?.
• Headline: MOUETTE TRIUMPHS IN LARCHMONT RACE; Leads 12 Meters Home in the Club's 52d Annual Regatta, With Cantitoe Second. ROULETTE ALSO A VICTOR First Across Line in 8-Meter Division -- Craft Finish in Fringe of a Squall.. Impact: Mouette's victory in the regatta probably led to a surge in yacht ownership among wannabe sailors, resulting in countless amateur boaters awkwardly explaining, 'Yes, I know how to sail!' while actually googling 'How to not drown.'. Fact: Fun fact: Regattas are the only time you can see people in fancy clothes pretending they know how to navigate life... and water..
• Headline: AMHERST GROUP IN VIENNA.; Arrives to Present 3 Notable American Dramas.. Impact: The Amherst group's dramatic presentation in Vienna probably caused a ripple effect of Americans showing up in Europe trying to prove they can also act—mostly by dramatically mispronouncing the word 'Vienna' forever.. Fact: Did you know that American dramas often involve more awkward silences than actual dialogue? It's like a silent film, but with more angst..
• Headline: Long Cruise for Barrymores.. Impact: The Barrymores' long cruise might have inspired a whole generation to think that family vacations should always involve sailing off into the sunset—preferably with an endless supply of sunscreen and snacks.. Fact: Fun fact: The Barrymores are basically the Kardashians of their time, just with more maritime adventures and fewer Instagram selfies..
• Headline: Turner's Victory Questioned.. Impact: Turner's questioned victory likely led to the rise of conspiracy theories in sports—because if you can't trust a race result, what can you trust? Next, people will be claiming that the moon landing was faked!. Fact: Did you know that questioning a victory is the fastest way to turn a simple race into an Olympic event of drama? Welcome to the real games!.