APRIL 30, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Damrosch Celebrates Music Education Success. Impact: This triumphant moment for music education eventually leads to the formation of various music therapy programs. Who knew that learning to appreciate Bach would help someone cope with their existential dread in 2023?. Fact: Did you know that music appreciation courses have been known to inspire students to pursue careers in fields like 'professional air guitar' and 'extreme whistling'?.
• Headline: Uprising in Iowa: A Call for Change. Impact: This event sets off a chain reaction leading to a series of protests, which eventually inspires the creation of the phrase 'Iowa Nice' as a sarcastic reminder that Iowans can be fierce when pushed.. Fact: Iowa: where the corn is tall, and the political arguments are taller. Fun fact: they have more presidential candidates per capita than actual residents..
• Headline: Bridge Design Prize Announcement. Impact: This seemingly simple competition sparks a nationwide obsession with bridge design, leading to a reality TV show called 'Extreme Bridge Makeover'—because nothing says entertainment like watching concrete dry.. Fact: Bridges were originally invented to get people across rivers, not to become Instagram influencers. But hey, who doesn’t love a good 'bridge selfie'?.
• Headline: Rochester, Noted Fighting Ship, Is Decommissioned at Manila. Impact: The decommissioning of the Rochester leads to a massive ceremony that accidentally inspires a new generation of naval enthusiasts, resulting in countless 'Battleship' themed birthday parties in the years to come.. Fact: The Rochester may have been a fighting ship, but decommissioning it was probably the most peaceful thing it ever did..
• Headline: The Adventurous History of Colorado; COLORADO. The Story of a Western Commonwealth. By LeRoy R. Hafen. Illustrated 328 pp. Denver. Col.: The Peerless Publishing Company. $4.. Impact: The publication of this book introduces an entire generation to Colorado's history, inadvertently leading to an excess of hipsters in flannel shirts and artisanal coffee shops, all claiming to be 'spiritually connected' to the Rockies.. Fact: Colorado: where the mountains are high, and the chances of running into a mountain goat are... well, pretty high too..
• Headline: THE SALTMARSH MURDERS. By Gladys Mitchell. 302 pp. Philadelphia: Macrae-Smith Company. $2.. Impact: This gripping tale of murder leads to a boom in mystery novels, ultimately culminating in the creation of book clubs where people pretend to read while sipping overpriced wine.. Fact: Gladys Mitchell was so ahead of her time that her books are still being read today, mostly by people who say they enjoy 'a good whodunit' but really just want to avoid their own lives..
• Headline: Women in Wagner's Life; THE UNCONQUERABLE TRISTAN. The Story of Richard Wagner. By B.M. Steigman. 376 pp. New York: The Macmillan Company. $3.. Impact: This book sparks interest in Wagner’s tumultuous relationships, giving rise to a whole new genre of opera-themed soap operas that have captivated audiences ever since.. Fact: Wagner’s life was so dramatic that even his operas were like a 19th-century version of a reality show—complete with love triangles and dramatic exits..
• Headline: Steel Mill to Recall 400 Men.. Impact: The decision to recall 400 workers becomes a turning point in labor relations, eventually inspiring a union movement that leads to the creation of the 'Union of Unpaid Interns'—because every mill deserves one.. Fact: In the world of steel mills, recalling workers is like a bad game of musical chairs—only instead of chairs, it's labor rights and a paycheck..
• Headline: ADDS 63 NEW HOME LOANS; Federal System Has Advanced So Far $28,980,363.. Impact: The introduction of new home loans leads to a housing bubble that later inspires the phrase 'too big to fail'—which, spoiler alert, it's not.. Fact: 63 new home loans sounds great until you realize most of those homes are just luxury treehouses in the minds of overzealous real estate agents..