APRIL 21, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: 500 Balloons Released for Boys' Club. Impact: The balloon release caused a chain reaction that led to a nationwide helium shortage, forcing clowns to re-evaluate their entire career path.. Fact: Fun fact: These balloons probably floated away and are now living a better life than most of us. #BalloonGoals.
• Headline: St. Vincent's Annual Benefit Dance. Impact: This benefit dance, while seemingly innocuous, led to a series of poorly planned themed parties for decades to come, resulting in the rise of the dreaded '80s prom night disasters.. Fact: If you think people are bad at dancing now, just remember: they were once even worse at it during benefit dances with electric stars!.
• Headline: Paderewski's Condition Unchanged. Impact: The stagnation of Paderewski's health kept piano music in limbo, affecting the development of jazz and ultimately leading to a world where cats play pianos on the internet.. Fact: Paderewski was such a talented pianist that even his illness couldn't outplay his legacy..
• Headline: ROCKEFELLER CENTER HOUSES ART ALLIANCE; Art Centre Building, Scene of 667 Exhibits in 13 Years, Has Been Leased.. Impact: This lease led to the gentrification of art spaces, which eventually turned every hipster coffee shop into a makeshift gallery, showcasing 'art' that looks suspiciously like a spilled latte.. Fact: It’s ironic that a place named after a capitalist mogul became a haven for artists who want nothing to do with capitalism..
• Headline: M'CORMICK GETS 4 MONTHS IN JAIL; Court Permits Him to Serve Term in Fort Eustis Because of Illness. FINE OF $15,000 IS ADDED Judge Says Justice Requires Ex-Official Be Confined Despite Grave Condition. M'CORMICK GETS 4 MONTHS IN JAIL. Impact: M’Cormick's brush with justice inadvertently inspired a series of crime dramas, leading to a cultural obsession with flawed anti-heroes that still plagues television today.. Fact: If only prisons had day spas, maybe more ex-officials would take their sentences more seriously?.
• Headline: WAITER JAILED FOR SHOTS.; Gets 6 to 12 Years for Wounding Two in Union Row.. Impact: This incident ignited a culinary revolution where waitstaff began taking self-defense classes, leading to a generation of servers who could not only recommend the daily special but also disarm a robber.. Fact: Bet you didn't know your waiter might be more qualified to handle a bar fight than most bouncers!.
• Headline: Water Supply Is Increased.. Impact: This seemingly mundane increase in water supply set off a chain of events that would see people in the future arguing over bottled water brands as if their lives depended on it—spoiler alert: they don't.. Fact: In a world where people are obsessed with hydration, this increase was the real MVP before it was cool to drink water—who knew?.