APRIL 9, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Filene Advocates Credit for Employment Boost. Impact: Filene's push for credit in employment led to modern-day credit cards. Now, instead of just aiding employment, they also aid in crushing debt—but hey, at least we're employed, right?. Fact: E. A. Filene was such a big fan of credit that he probably took out a loan just to buy his morning coffee..
• Headline: Gold Holdings of England and France. Impact: The focus on gold holdings set off a glittering trend where people suddenly thought gold was the answer to every financial crisis. Spoiler: It wasn’t.. Fact: Back in the day, banks actually believed that holding gold was a solid investment. Who knew shiny rocks could be so influential?.
• Headline: The Rise of Small Nations. Impact: Dr. Van Loon's prediction about small powers replacing big nations inspired countless political debates, eventually leading to the rise of tiny countries with big ambitions—like the world's most overqualified sandwich shop.. Fact: Van Loon’s theory was so popular that miniature nations started popping up everywhere, leading to the creation of the world’s smallest diplomatic mission: a shoebox..
• Headline: Rule by Aryans Decreed.. Impact: The decree of Aryan rule was a stepping stone to some of the most notorious and tragic events in history. It’s a grim reminder of how ideologies can spiral out of control.. Fact: This kind of exclusionary policy paved the way for some of the darkest chapters in human history, proving once again that intolerance never goes out of style..
• Headline: CHICAGO BANKS' FIGURES.; Changes in Condition This Year to March 25 Shown.. Impact: The financial conditions of banks in Chicago became a template for every panic that would follow. It’s like watching a never-ending rerun of a bad reality show.. Fact: Chicago banks have been fluctuating like a rollercoaster since the dawn of time, making Wall Street look like a kiddie ride in comparison..
• Headline: Earl of Portsmouth Quits Wyoming Ranch; Ends American Citizenship of 42 Years. Impact: The Earl of Portsmouth quitting his Wyoming ranch sparked an influx of expatriates realizing that maybe they didn’t need to live in America after all, leading to the rise of remote working before it was cool.. Fact: Who knew that a British lord’s mid-life crisis would lead to an entire generation of people wanting to escape to the wilds of Wyoming?.
• Headline: WALDORF SYSTEM OPTION.; Given to President on 25,000 Shares to Be Allotted.. Impact: The Waldorf System option was the beginning of corporate shenanigans that eventually led to golden parachutes and the concept of ‘firing with style’.. Fact: The option was probably just a fancy way for executives to say, 'Hey, we'll let you crash and burn, but here’s a shiny incentive!'.
• Headline: 50,000 TRAVELERS HELPED; Travelers Aid Dealt With 461 Runaways Last Year.. Impact: Helping 50,000 travelers sounds great until you realize it leads to 50,000 more stories of lost luggage and awkward airport encounters.. Fact: Travelers Aid dealt with so many runaways that they could have opened their own 'Lost & Found' amusement park..
• Headline: PROFESSOR BONN RESIGNS.; Quits Rectorship of Berlin Com- merce Academy -- Successor 'Loyal'. Impact: Professor Bonn’s resignation marked a pivotal moment in academia where loyalty became more valuable than intellect, leading to a trend of ‘yes men’ that haunts universities to this day.. Fact: Rumor has it Bonn left because he couldn’t get a good cup of coffee on campus. A true tragedy for academia!.