MARCH 26, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kidnap Plot and Burglary Arrest. Impact: This kidnapping plot led to a series of failed job applications for bakers everywhere, as they became the go-to scapegoats for every crime in the pastry world. However, it also inadvertently inspired a new genre of crime fiction: 'Bake Off Gone Wrong'.. Fact: Did you know that in some parts of the world, being a jobless baker is a prestigious title? Yeah, it's called being an artist..
• Headline: Utility Cuts Three Dividends in 1933. Impact: By halving dividends, the utility company sparked a financial crisis that led to a nationwide trend of cutting back on luxuries like, I don't know, electricity. This led to a rise in candle-making and a surge in the popularity of 'candle-lit dinners'—the original romantic date.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Halving dividends' is code for 'we're totally out of money, but we still want your loyalty.' Classic!.
• Headline: Japan Denies North China Seizure Plans. Impact: Japan's denial of plans to take North China resulted in a series of diplomatic misunderstandings that eventually led to the creation of the 'Oops, My Bad' school of international relations. This school taught future leaders the art of backtracking with style.. Fact: Did you know that denying an invasion is basically the same as saying, 'I didn't eat the last cookie,' when everyone saw you do it?.
• Headline: GRAND JURY ACTION ON HARRIMAN NEAR; Federal Body to Scan Thirteen Charges Against Former Bank Head This Week. LONG INQUIRY IS LIKELY Officers and Employes of Closed Institution Face Questioning -- Depositors to Go to Capital.. Impact: This grand jury inquiry not only brought to light the shady dealings of one bank but also set a precedent for future bank scandals. Little did they know, they were unknowingly launching a trend of 'funny business' that would eventually lead to our current reality TV show obsession.. Fact: Did you know that grand juries are basically the adult version of being sent to the principal's office? No one comes out unscathed..
• Headline: MISS ORCUTT WINS NORTH-SOUTH TITLE; Defeats Miss Wall to Annex Pinehurst Golf Tourney for Third Straight Year. TAKES MATCH BY 5 AND 4 Englewood Star Overwhelms Rival by Great Putting and Keen Short Game. MISS ORCUTT WINS NORTH-SOUTH TITLE. Impact: Miss Orcutt's victory not only solidified her status in the golfing world, but it also sparked a decade-long rivalry that would inspire a hit movie franchise, 'The Golfing Gladiators'. Spoiler alert: there’s a dramatic sand trap scene.. Fact: Did you know that golf is just an excuse for rich people to walk around in nice clothes while pretending to be athletic?.
• Headline: A One-Man Woman; SHE LOVES ME. By Norman Klein. 346 pp. New York: Farrus & Rinehart. Inc. $2.. Impact: Klein's book, while seemingly trivial, actually inspired a generation of romance authors to explore the complexities of love... and how to make a profit from it. This inadvertently led to countless poorly written novels about 'one-man' love stories featuring vampire-werewolf hybrids.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'one-man woman' can also mean 'doesn't know how to share'? Just saying..
• Headline: Nursing's History; A GENERAL HISTORY Of NURS- ING. By Lucy Ridgely Seymer. Revised for American publica- tion by Nina D. Gage, illustrat- ed. 317 pp. New York: The Macmillan Company. $2.75.. Impact: This history of nursing book not only educated future nurses but also inadvertently led to the rise of nursing memes. You know, the ones that make you laugh while simultaneously contemplating your life choices.. Fact: Did you know that nursing is the only profession where you can be a superhero and a punching bag at the same time? True story..