MARCH 16, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lowell's Vision for Harvard's Future. Impact: Lowell's ambitious vision for Harvard set off a chain reaction in academia that eventually led to the creation of a secret society dedicated to the study of obscure cheese varieties. Who knew cheese could be so influential?. Fact: Harvard's pursuit of greatness has led to many questionable decisions, including a 1970s initiative to offer a degree in interpretive dance..
• Headline: Dr. Sorgeano's Recall from Bolivia. Impact: Dr. Sorgeano's recall may have caused a butterfly to sneeze in Bolivia, resulting in an unexpected increase in llama population. Some say they now run the country.. Fact: Bolivia has more llamas than people, which may explain why their politicians are so well-groomed..
• Headline: Topics of The Times. Impact: The success of the Musicians' Emergency Aid Fund concerts inadvertently led to the rise of karaoke bars worldwide, where off-key renditions of 'Sweet Caroline' became a new form of fundraising.. Fact: Musicians have been known to donate their time, but only if they can also sell overpriced T-shirts at the event..
• Headline: TORNADO VICTIMS INCREASED TO 34; Ten Killed in Nashville, 200 Hurt Throughout Tennessee -- Many Homes Wrecked. CITIZENS TURN VIGILANTES National Guardsmen Placed on Duty ln Stricken Area as Red Cross Brings Succor.. Impact: The tornado's devastation turned citizens into vigilantes, sparking a superhero movement that eventually led to the world’s first 'Tornado Avenger' film franchise. Spoiler alert: it flopped.. Fact: Tornadoes are nature's way of reminding us that we should probably secure our fences..
• Headline: JAIL THIRTEENTH MAN IN $500,000 FRAUD; Police Arrest S.M. Sachs, In- dicted as Swindler of Women in Babylon Realty.. Impact: The arrest of S.M. Sachs in a real estate fraud case led to a nationwide distrust in property investments, prompting the rise of tiny homes and the 'living in your parents' basement' trend.. Fact: Real estate scams have been around since people figured out how to build houses. It's almost like they were just waiting for the right moment..
• Headline: DANISH TENOR IN RECITAL.; Natanael Christensen Makes Debut Here at Barbizon-Plaza.. Impact: Natanael Christensen's recital ignited a musical renaissance that eventually led to the birth of the 'Screamo' genre, proving that all it takes is one tenor to unleash chaos.. Fact: Tenors have been known to be dramatic, often requiring a safe space to recover from the emotional toll of singing high notes..
• Headline: League Considers Outlawing of Manchukuo; Committee Also Takes Up Arms Ban Plan. Impact: The League's consideration to outlaw Manchukuo inadvertently led to the rise of underground bingo halls in protest, where players would chant 'No recognition, no fun!'. Fact: Manchukuo was a puppet state, but they still had better puppet shows than most political debates..
• Headline: NO WALKER SETTLEMENT.; Attorneys for Ex-Mayor and Wife Deny Miami Report.. Impact: The denial of the Walker settlement fueled a conspiracy theory that Miami was actually a front for a secret society of retired politicians playing shuffleboard.. Fact: Miami's real estate market is so hot, it’s rumored that even the sun is thinking of investing..