MARCH 13, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bishop Creighton on Economic Values. Impact: Bishop Creighton's call for sounder values sparked a global movement for financial literacy, leading to the rise of 'How to Not Be Broke 101' classes and the eventual invention of the money-saving app that still can't save you from impulse buys.. Fact: Fun fact: Bishop Creighton probably didn't foresee the rise of cryptocurrency, which has redefined what 'sound values' even means!.
• Headline: Prohibition Repeal Conventions of 1933. Impact: The repeal conventions being ignored by Congress led to a collective shrug that echoed through time, ultimately resulting in the 'meh' attitude toward government decisions that we see today. It's like Congress became the world's most unresponsive parent.. Fact: Did you know that Congress's favorite game is 'Let's Pretend This Isn't Happening'? They play it often!.
• Headline: Earthquake Communication Relief on March 13, 1933. Impact: The lighter wire traffic westward post-earthquake initiated a massive shift in communication methods, paving the way for texting, where people now can ignore you in real-time rather than waiting to send a letter.. Fact: Ironically, before texting, people had to actually talk to each other. Can you imagine?.
• Headline: EVENING CLASSES DROP.; Cut in City College Enrolment Laid to Want Among Students.. Impact: The drop in evening classes sent shockwaves through academia, leading to the development of online courses where you can learn in your pajamas instead—because who needs face-to-face interaction with professors?. Fact: Turns out, the only thing that dropped faster than evening classes was the average attention span of students. Yay, technology!.
• Headline: HUNTER COLLEGE.; An Appeal for Care and Impartial- ity in Choosing Its New President. Impact: H.W. Taft's appeal for care in choosing a new president at Hunter College caused a ripple effect, leading to countless awkward faculty meetings filled with passive-aggressive comments about 'suitable candidates'—the true foundation of academic politics.. Fact: Fun fact: The process of choosing a college president involves more votes than a reality TV show, yet somehow it’s still less entertaining!.
• Headline: ROOSEVELT BACKED BY CLERGY IN CRISIS; President's Leadership During First Difficult Week Is Ac- claimed in Pulpits. NEED FOR FAITH STRESSED Recovery of 'Confidence in God' is Put First by Dean Gates and Othor Preachers.. Impact: Clergy backing Roosevelt during his crisis led to the emergence of 'Faith-Based Leadership'—a trend that prompted every politician since to hire a pastor as their spiritual advisor. Spoiler: it didn't help their approval ratings!. Fact: Did you know that political speeches are now often more about faith than facts? Who knew miracles could fix the economy?.
• Headline: ' Semi-Dictatorship' Urged In Spain to Combat Reds. Impact: The push for a 'semi-dictatorship' in Spain to combat Reds resulted in a dance-off between freedom and authoritarianism that continues to this day. Spoiler alert: the dance is awkward and nobody wins.. Fact: Did you know that 'semi-dictatorship' is just code for 'we're trying to figure out how to control the situation while still looking like we care'?.
• Headline: 39 Boxers in College Tourney.. Impact: The annual college boxing tournament became a source of inspiration for future sports events, leading to the invention of competitive eating contests—because who doesn’t want to watch people stuff their faces while wearing gloves?. Fact: 39 boxers? More like 39 reasons to avoid that gym class you promised yourself you'd attend!.