FEBRUARY 22, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring The Expanding Universe. Impact: The discussions in 'The Expanding Universe' somehow led to a group of teenagers in 2023 claiming they could fit an entire universe into a TikTok video. Spoiler: they can't.. Fact: This book was so influential that even the universe itself had to expand its horizons to accommodate all the ideas..
• Headline: Gov. Moore Signs School Year Bill. Impact: Legalizing the measure changed fiscal periods, which then led to a ripple effect of people questioning why their paychecks seemed to appear at random times. Welcome to modern financial chaos!. Fact: This bill made school years more confusing, which was a necessary step in preparing students for the confusion of adult life..
• Headline: Gulf Lines Advocate for Rail Rate Fairness. Impact: The endorsement by the U.S. Shipping Board caused a chain reaction of shipping companies learning to complain loudly enough that the government couldn’t ignore them. Voila—big business tactics 101.. Fact: Canned goods cuts were so contentious that you could practically hear the shelves groaning under the weight of the debate..
• Headline: TOO MANY REORGANIZERS.. Impact: The outcry about too many reorganizers led to a secret society of people who claimed they could reorganize the very concept of organization. They never got anywhere, ironically.. Fact: If you think too many reorganizers is a problem now, just wait until someone tries to 'optimize' your love life..
• Headline: Frightened Cat Gives Police Versatility Test; First They Climb Tree, Then Have to Repair It. Impact: The cat rescue operation inspired a new trend in police training, where officers had to learn the fine art of tree climbing – because you never know when a feline emergency will arise.. Fact: This incident led to the first-ever 'Cat Rescue Week,' which was just an excuse for cat lovers to gather and complain about dogs..
• Headline: ASSEMBLY PASSES TRUCK TAX BILL; Measure Exempts From Surtax Vehicles Under Two Tons to Relieve Farmers. LEHMAN BUDGET ASSAILED Democrats Join Republicans in Demand for $84,000,000 Cut to Avoid Raising Taxes.. Impact: The truck tax bill not only relieved farmers but also inadvertently created a black market for two-ton trucks. Farmers were suddenly the new mafia of the highways.. Fact: It’s funny how a tax cut can spark a whole new economy. Just wait until they start taxing air!.
• Headline: Skates Were Forthcoming.. Impact: Readers thanking the NY Times for skates somehow led to a surge in ice skating accidents, as people misinterpreted the gratitude as a call to action. Thanks, NY Times!. Fact: The gratitude expressed for skates resulted in ice rinks being built everywhere—who knew a newspaper could pioneer winter sports?.
• Headline: LEHMAN DEPLORES REPEAL SCRAMBLE; Legislative Leaders, Speeding Ratification, Are Warned of Peril in 'Mad' Haste. NATION'S EYES ON STATE Bill Is Amended to Delay Election Until April 20 and Convention Until May 16. COHEN ADVISED CHANGE Vote Could Not Be Taken Here March 28, He Said, With the Recount Under Way.. Impact: The haste to repeal prohibition turned into a political game of hot potato, with states trying to pass the buck—or the beer. Eventually, this led to cocktail parties becoming a political strategy.. Fact: This legislative scramble was so chaotic that even the ghosts of past prohibitionists were like, 'Seriously, guys?'.
• Headline: REFERENCE WORK OF VALUE; Move to Revive Scientific Literature Catalogue.. Impact: The revival of the scientific literature catalogue somehow led to a resurgence in the popularity of card catalogues, which confused a whole new generation of tech-savvy kids.. Fact: Because who doesn’t want to spend hours sifting through cards when you can just Google it?.
• Headline: Somers Silver Bill Killed in Committee; Steagall Measure to Await Extra Session. Impact: The killing of the Somers Silver Bill in committee caused a domino effect of disappointment among silver coin collectors, leading to a secret underground network of numismatists plotting their next move.. Fact: This event was the last time anyone took silver seriously until it became a trendy investment again. Timing is everything!.