FEBRUARY 19, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Artistic Diversity in Drawings. Impact: The varied exhibitions sparked a worldwide trend of people pretending to be art critics, leading to a generation of influencers who think a blank canvas is 'deep'.. Fact: Did you know that staring at abstract art can actually increase your chances of being invited to pretentious dinner parties?.
• Headline: Heroic Act Ends in Tragedy. Impact: The heroic act of the boy led to a sudden rise in superhero costumes for children. Parents, however, remain concerned about the 'saving sister' clause in the fine print.. Fact: In a tragic twist, the legislation to protect children who save their siblings has yet to be drafted. Guess saving the day doesn’t come with a handbook..
• Headline: Royal Couple Returns to London. Impact: The King and Queen's return reignited a royal frenzy, leading to the world’s first royal fan club and a subsequent increase in tea consumption by 200%.. Fact: Did you know that crowds cheering for royals is the original form of social media? Just replace hashtags with hats..
• Headline: HENRY ADAMS AND HIS "FAILURES"; A Brief Biography of the Author of "The Education" HENRY ADAMS. By James Truslow Adams. 246 pp. Illustrated. New York: Albert & Charles Boni. Inc. $2.50. Henry Adams. Impact: Henry Adams’ biography inspired a new genre of self-help books, convincing millions that their failures would eventually lead to bestselling memoirs. Spoiler: they didn’t.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more boring than reading about someone's failures is listening to them recount them at parties..
• Headline: She Who Hesitates; SHE WOULD AND SHE WOULDN'T. By Helens Eliat. 310 pp. New York: The Viking Press.. Impact: Helene Eliat's book sparked a national debate on indecision, leading to countless self-help seminars where people still can't decide if they want to attend.. Fact: Did you know that indecision has been scientifically proven to be the leading cause of procrastination? Or was that just a suggestion?.
• Headline: ' More Masculine' Pictures of Christ Urged; British Prelates Deplore Usual Meekness. Impact: The push for more 'masculine' depictions of Christ led to an influx of gym memberships among clergy, resulting in the first-ever 'Holy Gains' fitness program.. Fact: Did you know that the meekness of Christ was originally just a metaphor for needing to hit the gym? Well, at least that's how some interpret it now..
• Headline: A STERNE RETROSPECTIVE; Works Covering Thirty Years Reveal His Powers as Painter and as Sculptor. Impact: The Sterne retrospective led to an unexpected revival of interest in forgotten artists, eventually making obscure art the next big thing on social media—#SterneIsTheNewBlack.. Fact: Did you know that art critics are just like hipsters? They will always tell you they liked an artist before they were famous..
• Headline: J.H. Whitney's Dusty Foot, Bostwick Up, Wins Sundown Open Hunters Steeplechase. Impact: J.H. Whitney’s victory in the steeplechase inspired a whole new demographic of equestrian enthusiasts, leading to a rise in horse-themed coffee mugs that nobody asked for.. Fact: Did you know that steeplechases were originally designed for horses and not as a training course for future Olympians? Time to rethink your life choices!.
• Headline: USE NEW BUYING CONTRACT. Impact: The new buying contract initiative led to an influx of bargain hunters, creating a new economy based on haggling that somehow still avoids the actual point of sales.. Fact: Did you know that 'small-lot orders' is just a fancy way of saying 'we don’t want to deal with your bulk buying'? Welcome to retail!.