FEBRUARY 16, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Funeral Services for Banker Van Buskirk. Impact: The funeral of Van Buskirk sparked a nationwide trend of elaborate funerals, leading to the rise of the highly competitive funeral industry. Fast forward to today, and we have a plethora of options, from diamond-infused ashes to eco-friendly pods. Thanks, Van Buskirk!. Fact: Did you know that the average cost of a funeral has increased more than 200% since the 1980s? Talk about a legacy!.
• Headline: Historic Frog Jumping Contest Canceled. Impact: The cancellation of the Jumping-Frog Contest sent shockwaves through the amphibious entertainment industry, leading to a world where frogs are now the unsung heroes of the animal performance scene. Who knew frog jumping could be so influential?. Fact: Did you know that frogs can jump over 20 times their body length? Maybe they just got stage fright!.
• Headline: Benton Takes Over Self-Liquidating Loans. Impact: P.M. Benton succeeding Lindsay created a butterfly effect that led to a world where self-liquidating loans became the go-to financial strategy for questionable investments. Who needs actual revenue when you can just 'liquidate' your problems?. Fact: Did you know that self-liquidating loans are actually a thing? It's like saying, 'Don't worry, my debt will pay itself off!'.
• Headline: LITTLE ENTENTE MADE PERMANENT; Czechoslovakia, Rumania and Yugoslavia Reach Accord to Organize Peace. BANKS WILL COOPERATE Preferential Tariffs Are Planned -- All Treaties to Be Subject to Unanimous Consent.. Impact: The Little Entente being made permanent ushered in an era of complex treaties that would confuse even the best of diplomats for decades to come. Little did they know, they were setting the stage for a labyrinth of international relations that still baffles us today.. Fact: Did you know that the Little Entente was formed in response to the perceived threat from Hungary? If only they had just decided to host a tea party instead!.
• Headline: BARS LOAN TO PAY COSACH WORKERS; Chilean Central Bank Asserts Its Statutes Ban Use of Funds for Operation.. Impact: Chile's refusal to grant a loan to Cosach workers set a precedent for labor disputes that would echo through history, influencing countless strikes and worker movements. The workers eventually got their day, but not without a lot of fuss and a few broken picket signs.. Fact: Did you know that labor movements have been pivotal in shaping workers' rights? So, thanks, Chile, for adding fuel to the fire!.
• Headline: Poles Attack Germans In Corridor.. Impact: The Poles attacking Germans in the Corridor set off a chain reaction of nationalistic tensions that would simmer for decades, ultimately contributing to a little thing called World War II. Just a minor detail in the grand scheme of history!. Fact: Did you know that territorial disputes are the stuff of history books? Spoiler alert: they rarely end well!.
• Headline: CURTAILING EDUCATION.; Economy at the Children's Expense Should Be the Last Resort.. Impact: The curtailing of education sparked a movement where 'economy' became the new buzzword, leading to a future where students would have to negotiate for basic resources. Thanks to that trend, today's kids are now experts in budgeting their lunch money!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Education is key' was almost replaced by 'Education is optional' in the early 2000s? Thank goodness for the intervention!.
• Headline: Mrs. Massie Delays Statement.. Impact: Mrs. Massie's delayed statement became the gold standard for how to keep the public guessing. This tactic has since evolved into the modern-day art of political spin, where every word is calculated, and silence is golden.. Fact: Did you know that 'no comment' is the most used phrase in politics? It's basically the adult version of 'I don't want to talk about it!'.
• Headline: STUDENTS AT N.Y.U. SUSPEND DAILY PAPER; Their Senate Stops Publication of News Until March 6 for 'Dis- loyalty' and Other Charges.. Impact: The suspension of the NYU daily paper for 'disloyalty' opened the floodgates for student activism and media freedom, creating a generation that would refuse to be silenced, even if it meant getting a bad grade or two.. Fact: Did you know that college newspapers have historically been at the forefront of social change? Go student journalists!.