FEBRUARY 5, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Deep Mourning at Lilienthal's Funeral. Impact: Lilienthal's funeral gathered many, and the outpouring of sympathy led to an unexpected spike in popularity for funeral planning services, which ironically became the foundation for the modern 'celebration of life' event.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'rest in peace' was actually coined because no one wanted to deal with the paperwork after someone passed away?.
• Headline: ENGLISH ORDERS FORESEEN; Branch Plant Owners Are Prepared for "Empire Content" Rule.. Impact: The Empire Content rule ignited a fierce debate on content regulations that would eventually evolve into today's heated discussions about social media platforms and their algorithms. Who knew branch plants could predict the future of memes?. Fact: Did you know that 50% of anything is just the government’s way of hedging their bets? Welcome to math in politics!.
• Headline: NAVY LEAGUE SPLIT; 3 LEADERS RESIGN; Chairman Howe, W.A. Galvin, Secretary, and Bouve, Quit After Meeting Here. AT ODDS OVER GARDINER President of League, Who Called Hoover "Ignorant" on Navy, Persists in Keeping Office.. Impact: The Navy League split created a rift that led to the formation of rival factions, eventually resulting in the advent of modern-day political parties that can't agree on what color the sky is, let alone naval strategy.. Fact: Did you know that disagreements over navy strategy have been known to cause more drama than a reality TV show? Who needs scripted drama when you have real-life naval disputes?.
• Headline: Trust Increases Dividend.. Impact: The increase in dividends was the start of the belief that money grows on trees, leading to the 80s boom, where everyone forgot that investments can also lead to financial disasters—like that time someone invested in Beanie Babies.. Fact: Did you know that dividends are like the universe's way of saying, 'Hey, you did something right!'? Just don’t expect them to pay for your avocado toast..
• Headline: 961 OIL WELLS DRILLED.; Additional Production Last Month Was 270,140 Barrels Daily.. Impact: The drilling of oil wells spurred a frenzy that would soon lead to a worldwide obsession with fossil fuels, ultimately resulting in the invention of the 'gas-guzzling' SUV that we all love to hate.. Fact: Did you know that if oil wells had feelings, they’d probably be the most overworked and underappreciated entities on the planet? Sorry, Mother Nature!.
• Headline: Confederates Thinned to 10,406.. Impact: The dwindling number of Confederate veterans marked the end of an era, leading to the eventual fading of certain Civil War narratives and the rise of new interpretations that would shape American history classes forever.. Fact: Did you know that the fewer veterans there are, the more complicated their stories become? Just ask any history teacher trying to explain the Civil War!.