JANUARY 27, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Chamber Celebrates Air Transport Progress. Impact: The rise of air transport in 1932 led to the eventual creation of frequent flyer miles, which would cause countless arguments between couples over who gets to use them. Thanks, Thomas!. Fact: Did you know that without the growth of air transport, we might never have had the delightful chaos of airport security lines? You're welcome!.
• Headline: De Capriles Advances for Junior Championship. Impact: De Capriles' fencing win inspired a generation of kids to take up epee, leading to the invention of the world's first fencing-themed reality show, 'So You Think You Can Fence'.. Fact: Did you know that fencing was originally used as a way to settle disputes? Now it’s just a theatrical sport where people poke each other in fancy outfits!.
• Headline: Farley to Lead Inaugural Unit.. Impact: Farley's appointment ensured that inauguration parades would forever be filled with pomp and circumstance, paving the way for future politicians to strut down streets like they were on a reality TV show.. Fact: Did you know that leading an inaugural unit is basically like being a glorified parade marshal? Just without the candy and confetti..
• Headline: URGE MRS. ROOSEVELT TO QUIT ACTIVITIES; Thousands Have Advised Her to Resign From Various Or- ganizations, She Says.. Impact: The pressure on Mrs. Roosevelt to quit led to her becoming a leading figure in advocating for human rights, proving that when someone tells you to quit, you might just be on the right track.. Fact: Did you know that Eleanor Roosevelt ignored the naysayers and became one of the most influential first ladies? Take that, critics!.
• Headline: S.T. TYNG IS SUED.; Former Showgirl Asks $250,000 in Breach of Promise Action.. Impact: This lawsuit sparked a trend of showgirls taking legal action against their promises, ultimately inspiring a wave of reality TV shows around love gone wrong. Thanks, S.T. Tyng!. Fact: Did you know that breach of promise lawsuits used to be a thing? Now they just make for great plot twists in rom-coms!.
• Headline: An Experienced Jurist.. Impact: The rise of experienced jurists led to an overabundance of legal jargon, making it impossible for the average person to understand their own rights. Hooray for democracy!. Fact: Did you know that being an experienced jurist means you can argue in circles until everyone forgets what the original question was?.
• Headline: ScofielduKline.. Impact: This engagement heralded a new era of celebrity couples whose names are smushed together in the tabloids, leading to the creation of countless new portmanteaus.. Fact: Did you know that when two famous people get engaged, the resulting couple name can sometimes be more famous than they are? ScofielduKline, anyone?.
• Headline: Enforcing Banking Laws.. Impact: The enforcement of banking laws in this period led to the eventual creation of new regulations that made it almost impossible for anyone to understand their bank statements. Cheers to progress!. Fact: Did you know that banking laws are like the fine print of life? Nobody reads them until it's too late!.