DECEMBER 20, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Loesch Lists Crime Causes in Chicago. Impact: Loesch's list of crime causes led to a nationwide obsession with crime statistics, resulting in the establishment of the first 'Crime-ometer' in 1947, a device that only measures how outraged people are about crime without actually addressing it. Thanks, Loesch!. Fact: Did you know that blaming 'Negro Criminals' was a popular pastime back then? Because nothing says 'solution' like generalized finger-pointing!.
• Headline: Roosevelt Firm Against European Commission. Impact: The president-elect's standoffishness sparked an eternal dance of political avoidance, leading to the invention of the 'Political Standoff' board game, which remains unplayed to this day.. Fact: Fun fact: Roosevelt's silence on debt proposals was so profound that it inspired a silent film era—'The Great Silence'—which was just a bunch of people staring at each other awkwardly..
• Headline: Seabury Named Most Useful Citizen of 1932. Impact: Seabury's task of civic service led to the birth of the 'Most Useful Citizen' award, which later became a favorite topic of debate in every family gathering—who really deserves it? Spoiler: it's never the person who actually cleans the dishes.. Fact: Columbia Journalism Students ranked McKee next to him? Clearly, they were preparing for a lifetime of disappointment in the field of journalism..
• Headline: COMET OBSERVED, BELIEVED TEMPEL'S; Australians Think Heavenly Body They Sighted Is One Last Seen in 1866.. Impact: The sighting of Tempel's comet led to a brief but intense comet-chasing craze in the 20th century, resulting in the first comet-themed reality TV show—'Chasing Tempel'—which was canceled after one season due to a lack of actual comets.. Fact: Did you know that Australians thought they saw a comet last seen in 1866? Maybe they just really missed it and wanted it back—like an old friend who owes you money..
• Headline: MISS HATTIE M. DAVID.. Impact: Miss Hattie M. David's long life and legacy led to the establishment of the 'Hattie Awards' for longevity, where the prize is simply a cake that says 'Congrats on not dying!'. Fact: At 96, Hattie probably had enough wisdom to write a self-help book, but she was too busy being a legend instead..
• Headline: MR. ROGERS IN DOUBT.; He Wants Expert Advice on Standing of British "Who's Who.". Impact: Mr. Rogers' quest for expert advice on his standing in 'Who's Who' resulted in a nationwide obsession with self-importance, eventually leading to the creation of social media influencers—thankfully, he missed that train.. Fact: Nothing says 'I matter' like needing validation from a book that only a handful of people actually read, right?.
• Headline: C.E.WHITEHILLDEAD AT 61 IN HIS SLEEP; Noted Baritone Had Sung a Few Hours Earlier at an Un- employment Benefit. 19 YEARS AT METROPOLITAN Once Sang for British King and QueenuCareer Partly Due to Good Word From Mme. Melba.. Impact: C.E. Whitehill's unexpected death during an unemployment benefit concert sparked a wave of 'singing for your life' campaigns, where performers suddenly became life coaches to avoid the same fate.. Fact: Singing for the British King and Queen? Well, I'm sure that prepared him for the ultimate gig: sleeping peacefully in his own bed..
• Headline: Topics of The Times. Impact: The 'Topics of The Times' column led to a frenzy of intellectual discussions, which ultimately resulted in the invention of the 'Hot Take'—a format that has since taken the world by storm, proving that ignorance is, indeed, bliss.. Fact: K. Marx correcting Ed? They must have had the most riveting dinner parties—how could anyone resist those debates?.