DECEMBER 15, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Debating the Taxicab Code of 1932. Impact: If Mr. Hotchner hadn’t defended the Taxicab Code, we might still be hailing cabs with carrier pigeons, leading to a nationwide avian shortage and a spike in pigeon-related accidents.. Fact: Did you know that people used to think getting a ride from a cab was a luxury? Now we just call an Uber and pretend we’re not judging the driver’s playlist..
• Headline: New Government for War Debt Negotiations. Impact: The quest for a new government led to decades of political reshuffles, causing the average citizen to become an expert in political jargon and the art of eye-rolling.. Fact: Did you know that ‘new government’ is basically the political equivalent of 'new phone, who dis?'.
• Headline: Sisson Heads Rhode Island G.O.P.. Impact: Sisson's leadership sparked a bizarre chain reaction that ultimately led to Rhode Island becoming the first state to have a ‘G.O.P. mascot’—a giant clam named ‘Clammy McPolitics.’. Fact: Fun fact: Rhode Island is known for its small size, but the political drama? That’s larger than life!.
• Headline: Women Exceed Job Relief Quota by $351,270 But Plan to Go On; $10,515,423 Now in Fund; WOMEN EXCEED JOB RELIEF QUOTA. Impact: This extraordinary achievement led to women realizing they could exceed quotas in everything, including how many times they could roll their eyes at outdated gender roles.. Fact: Did you know that exceeding quotas is not just a financial benchmark? It’s also a great way to annoy anyone who thinks women should stay in their lanes!.
• Headline: PARIS POLICE SEIZE SON OF OUR CONSUL; Youth Is Quickly Released After Being Mistaken for Anti- American Demonstrator.. Impact: This incident ignited a wave of diplomatic faux pas, resulting in a secret society of consuls who all wear ‘I’m not an activist’ t-shirts to avoid misunderstandings.. Fact: Fun fact: Mistaken identities are the plot twist of every good spy novel, but in real life, it’s just Tuesday for a consul’s kid..
• Headline: French Envoy Host to Stimson At Dinner as Nations Dispute. Impact: This diplomatic dinner proceeded to set the precedent for every future political gathering, where discussions about nation disputes would always revolve around who gets the last piece of bread.. Fact: Did you know that the French take dining very seriously? It’s where they settle their beef—literally and figuratively..
• Headline: War Debt Revision Inevitable, Says Bank of Spain Governor. Impact: The inevitability of debt revision led to the creation of a secret committee of finance ministers who meet annually to commiserate over their mutual debt problems and bond over bad financial decisions.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more inevitable than debt revision is people ignoring their bank statements..
• Headline: REV. URIAH H. HEILMAN. ! ___ i; Minister, 94, Said to Be Oldest F. and M. Alumnus.. Impact: Rev. Heilman’s longevity inspired a slew of self-help books on how to live a fulfilling life, the first of which was ironically published just before he turned 95.. Fact: Did you know that reaching 94 years old makes you an expert on nearly everything? Just ask anyone over 90—especially if they’re a minister!.