OCTOBER 22, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: R M Minor Wins Art Contest. Impact: R M Minor's win set off a chain reaction that led to an overabundance of hipster art contests in coffee shops across the nation. Art became so competitive that even avocado toast started getting gallery shows.. Fact: Did you know that R M Minor's winning poster was actually a collage of cat memes? Because nothing says 'modern art' like a feline doing yoga..
• Headline: W. and J. Defeats Xavier 34-0. Impact: This game not only crushed Xavier's spirit but also inadvertently led to the development of long-distance running as a legitimate Olympic sport. Who knew college football could inspire athletes to run from their problems?. Fact: Did you know that the score was so lopsided that fans started calling it 'The Great Gridiron Massacre'? The term 'subdue' was later banned from all sports commentary..
• Headline: O'Brien and Pounds Meet as Warm Friends; 300 Actors Hear Rivals Praise Each Other. Impact: Their friendship sparked a trend of actors complimenting their rivals, leading to an era of overly polite award shows where acceptance speeches became two hours of mutual admiration and no one actually thanked their mothers.. Fact: Fun fact: This meeting was so heartwarming that it caused a temporary rise in the production of romantic comedies, just to capitalize on the 'feel-good' vibes..
• Headline: THE BAR AND THE JUDGES.. Impact: Ed’s explanation of judiciary nominations led to a revolution in legal jargon, where lawyers started citing memes instead of case law. This eventually resulted in a courtroom filled with confused judges and a lot of eye-rolling.. Fact: Did you know that after this discussion, the phrase 'lawyered up' became an actual legal term? And no, it still doesn't mean what you think it means..
• Headline: AMENDMENT NO. 1.; Reason, Are Advanced Why It Should Be Defeated.. Impact: The push to defeat this amendment led to the creation of a secret club where people gathered to discuss amendments like they were the latest TV dramas, complete with popcorn and dramatic reenactments.. Fact: Did you know that some members of this club actually thought they were auditioning for a reality show? Spoiler: they were not..
• Headline: PERRY BELMONT ART IS SOLD FOR $26,061; Paintings, Drawings and Furniture From Homes in Washington and Newport Auctioned.. Impact: The sale of Perry Belmont's art collection ignited the great American obsession with auctioning off everything from vintage spoons to celebrity hair, eventually leading to the rise of 'Antiques Roadshow' marathons.. Fact: Fun fact: The most sought-after item in the auction was a chair that supposedly belonged to a famous senator, which turned out to just be a regular chair with a really good PR team..
• Headline: NEW GROUP TO STRESS FILMS AS ART MEDIUM; Cinema League Formed Here to Promote Pictures as Part of International Culture.. Impact: This group’s formation led to the eventual rise of film festivals where pretentiousness became an Olympic sport. Now, every indie film comes with a side of existential dread and a Q&A session that feels like an interrogation.. Fact: Did you know that the first meeting was held in a basement theater that was accidentally double-booked with a clown convention? Talk about a cinematic clash!.
• Headline: Hoover Is Collecting Cartoons of Himself; Now Has 20,000 in His 'Chamber of Horrors'. Impact: Hoover's obsession with his cartoon collection led to a bizarre future where politicians began commissioning unflattering caricatures as a form of self-therapy. It’s never been the same since.. Fact: Fun fact: The 'Chamber of Horrors' was eventually rebranded as a tourist attraction, where people could pay to see Hoover's worst puns immortalized in cartoon form..