OCTOBER 17, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic Voter Registration Surge in 1932. Impact: This massive voter registration catalyzed an arms race of political promises, leading to the world's first campaign promise that involved a pet rock. The rock was elected to office in 2024, representing the true spirit of the people.. Fact: Fun fact: The excitement of new registrations once caused a spontaneous dance-off between party members that made the entire city late for the election..
• Headline: Pennsylvania Factory Jobs Surge in September. Impact: The increase in factory jobs led to the first-ever 'Factory Olympics' where workers competed in assembly line speed events, ultimately leading to the invention of a machine that does everything—except put socks in pairs.. Fact: As a result of increased factory employment, Pennsylvania became home to the world’s first 'bored factory worker support group.' Their motto? 'We’re just here for the snacks.'.
• Headline: J.H. DILLON LEFT $50,000.; Estate of New Haven Turfman and Merchant Goes to Widow.. Impact: Mrs. Dillon used the inheritance to fund a racehorse that only ran in circles, which ironically led to the rise of the circle track racing craze, making it the only sport where going in circles is literally rewarded.. Fact: J.H. Dillon was once rumored to have trained his racehorses with motivational speeches, which explains their tendency to stop and think about life mid-race..
• Headline: JOINT PLEA OVER RADIO; The President Summons 'Great Heart of People' to Meet Distress. COMMUNITY AID 'ONLY WAY' Proud That Each Has Accepted Task, He Says in Urging All Who Are Able to 'Give.' BAKER VOICES CONFIDENCE 'Mute Appeal' of Children Will Be Answered, He Holds -- Gifford Also Speaks. PRESIDENT APPEALS TO NATION FOR NEEDY. Impact: This radio appeal inadvertently sparked the creation of 'charity telethons,' which evolved into a competitive sport where hosts try to outdo each other in ridiculous stunts for donations.. Fact: The first telethon was so successful that it led to the establishment of a national holiday: 'Make a Fool of Yourself for Charity Day.'.
• Headline: GERMAN NATIONALISM EXTOLLED BY SCHACHT; Former Reichsbank President at International Forum in Berlin Hails New Spirit.. Impact: This praise of nationalism set off a chain reaction of over-the-top nationalism-themed parties, which eventually led to the invention of themed barbecues—because nothing says patriotism like grilling sausages.. Fact: Schacht apparently brought a 'German spirit' drink to the forum, which was later banned due to its dangerously high levels of enthusiasm..
• Headline: MURDER OF BABY LAID TO PUERTO RICAN COOK; Servant Charged With Throwing Lindsay Child From Window After a Drinking Bout.. Impact: This tragic event sparked a national conversation about the treatment of domestic workers, ultimately leading to reforms that improved working conditions and ensured that no one else would ever be thrown out of a window—at least not without a proper court hearing.. Fact: The case was so sensational that it inspired a series of novels, all of which unfortunately failed to capture the gravity of the situation..
• Headline: A Slap at Taxpayers.. Impact: This headline led to a nationwide resurgence in anti-tax protests and a dramatic rise in the sale of pitchforks—turns out, nothing says 'I’m mad about my taxes' like a good old-fashioned farm tool.. Fact: The phrase 'slap at taxpayers' was once considered for a tax-themed musical, but it was scrapped for being too 'on the nose.'.