SEPTEMBER 22, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Funeral Services for Mrs. Lovell. Impact: Mrs. Lovell's passing led to a series of events where Columbia University professors became overly dramatic about their work, resulting in a campus-wide theatrical performance that included interpretive dance about the fragility of life. The university's theater program gained unexpected fame, leading to a new major: Philosophy through Dance.. Fact: Funerals have historically been the perfect opportunity for professors to show off their emotional range—after all, who else would want to cry in public about their existential dread?.
• Headline: Jersey Senator In Legal Dispute. Impact: The lawsuit against the Jersey senator unleashed a chain of events that inspired a new genre of political drama. HBO executives were watching closely, leading to the creation of a series that glamorized political corruption, forever altering public perception of politicians.. Fact: In a surprising twist, Aldine Trust Co. became the go-to lender for politicians, inadvertently leading to an entire sub-industry of campaign finance 'consultants' who specialize in creative accounting..
• Headline: INSULL GROUP PLANS SUIT FOR $78,900,000; O'Grady Committee, Allowed to Intervene in Receivership, to Act Against Directors. CONSPIRACY IS CHARGED Family and Associates Alleged to Have Manipulated Securities to Get Profits.. Impact: The Insull family's alleged manipulation of securities set off a series of trust issues, leading to the creation of the SEC. This eventually resulted in many people believing that all rich families must be involved in some form of conspiracy.. Fact: When families start manipulating securities, it’s usually not to fund a new charitable foundation; it's more about ensuring their yacht can fit in the Mediterranean..
• Headline: Wheat and Cotton Start Brisk Stock Rise; Steel Issues Lead Advance of 3 to 10 Points. Impact: The stock rise in wheat and cotton led to a sudden interest in agricultural investments, eventually sparking the 'Farm to Table' movement decades later. Now everyone feels justified buying overpriced salads at hipster cafes.. Fact: Investing in wheat and cotton can be just as fulfilling as buying a new pair of shoes—if only they came with a side of avocado toast..
• Headline: NEW YORKERS URGE LOAN FOR TUNNEL; Wagner and Prall Head Delegation Asking Aid for Staten Island Project Before R.F.C. $39,400,000 IS REQUESTED Delegates Report Construction Is Self-Liquidating -- Plans Turned Over to Federal Engineers.. Impact: The push for the Staten Island Tunnel funding led to a series of government construction projects that inadvertently established the foundation for the modern infrastructure lobby, where road builders and politicians really struck gold.. Fact: Asking for government loans for construction projects is the modern equivalent of asking your parents for cash to build a treehouse—except the treehouse is a 39 million dollar tunnel..
• Headline: Denies Cotton "Manipulation.". Impact: R. Clark's denial of cotton manipulation sparked a debate that led to an entire generation of conspiracy theorists convinced that even the textile industry was in on a secret world domination plot.. Fact: The idea of cotton manipulation might sound absurd, but if there's ever a conspiracy theory about your favorite fabric, you can bet someone's already working on it..