SEPTEMBER 13, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Renewal of Diplomatic Ties in 1932. Impact: The diplomatic relations renewal led to a world where nations actually talked things out instead of throwing rocks. This paved the way for the invention of the 'Sorry, my bad!' international gesture, which has saved countless misunderstandings over coffee.. Fact: Despite all this talk of diplomacy, countries still can't agree on whether pineapple belongs on pizza..
• Headline: Tragic Death of Edward B. Crissey. Impact: His untimely death sent shockwaves through the Boston packing industry, leading to stricter packing regulations. Ironically, it also sparked a new trend in packing peanuts as a tribute to his memory.. Fact: Packing peanuts were originally invented just to annoy people during shipping. Who knew they could become a memorial symbol?.
• Headline: Mass Destruction of Slot Machines in 1932. Impact: The destruction of those slot machines inadvertently led to the rise of underground gaming dens. You know, where the real action was, complete with secret handshakes and a 'no cameras allowed' policy.. Fact: If only slot machines could talk, they'd have some wild stories about who lost their life savings and their dignity in one spin..
• Headline: WINS EARLHAM AWARD.; R.J. Brooks of Peekskill Gets the Pugsley Scholarship.. Impact: Brooks' scholarship win ignited a frenzy of competitive scholarship applications, ultimately leading to the invention of the world's largest scholarship essay, which nobody ever read.. Fact: The Pugsley Scholarship is not named after a character from The Addams Family, but wouldn't that be fitting?.
• Headline: SEVEN SLAIN IN NICARAGUA.; Many Other Rebels Are Wounded in Severs Clash With Guard.. Impact: This tragic conflict sparked a global outcry that led to a series of international peace treaties, along with the awkward trend of world leaders sending 'thoughts and prayers' cards instead of actually doing something.. Fact: In the wake of unrest, the phrase 'peace talks' was coined — mostly because 'let's just hug it out' sounded too silly..
• Headline: MISS NANCY ELL1COTT WED.; Becomes Bride of o Frederick T. Nelson in Ellicott City, Md.. Impact: Her wedding set off a chain reaction of matrimonial bliss that resulted in an unprecedented increase in cake baking. The world was never the same after everyone realized how important frosting is.. Fact: Weddings are basically just fancy excuses for people to eat cake and judge your dance moves..
• Headline: BASIS IS REACHED FOR DANUBIAN AID; Three Powers at Stresa Parley Agree to Combine Fund and Direct Preference Plans. SETTLEMENT IS RESERVED Delegates Must Communicate With Governments -- Britain Is Unlikely to Participate.. Impact: This agreement laid the groundwork for a bizarre future where bureaucratic meetings became the new social norm, inspiring countless memes about 'the meeting that could have been an email.'. Fact: When it comes to international agreements, the more confusing the terms, the more likely everyone will just nod in agreement and hope for the best..
• Headline: MISS ALICE FISH BRIDE OF. HENRY A. GAEDE; Member of Old New England Family Wed to Hoboken Banker in the Municipal Chapel.. Impact: This charming union resulted in the eventual blending of banking and fishing communities, leading to the legendary 'Banking on Fish' investment strategy that never quite took off.. Fact: Marrying into a banking family means you can legally ask for a raise in your allowance. Who knew love could be so lucrative?.