AUGUST 23, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Liner America Heads to Scrapyard. Impact: The scrapping of the Liner America led to the creation of a new fashion trend in recycled ship parts, resulting in a bizarre 21st-century fad where people wear jewelry made from old ship hulls. Who knew that maritime trash would become haute couture?. Fact: Did you know that scrapping ships is like a funeral for vessels? Except instead of flowers, you get rusty metal and the sad realization that they never made it to the ‘sixth continent’ of cruise destinations..
• Headline: Home Loan Enthusiasm Grows Nationwide. Impact: This joyful enthusiasm for home loans sparked a series of events that led to more people mortgaging their homes for things like avocado toast and fancy lattes. Thanks, board members, for kickstarting the financial ruin of millennials!. Fact: Did you know that 'liquid mortgages' are not actually a drink? You can't sip on them while you contemplate your life choices, although many wish they could!.
• Headline: JOSEPH FOWLER FIELD.; Last Survivor of His G. A. R. Post In Hartford Was 97*. Impact: Joseph Fowler's long life and survival became a rallying cry for the preservation of history, inspiring future generations to keep the memory of the Grand Army of the Republic alive. Sadly, the rest of history isn't so kind to its survivors.. Fact: Fowler lived through more historical events than most of us read about in textbooks. You could say his life was one long, boring history lesson that didn’t involve pop quizzes..
• Headline: Governor Olson Backs Farmers.. Impact: Governor Olson backing farmers during their strike inadvertently led to the rise of organic farming. The unexpected surge in kale production would later confuse a generation into thinking they needed it for a healthy lifestyle.. Fact: Did you know that martial law for farmers sounds like a dystopian novel? 'The Grapes of Wrath: The Sequel' where the crops fight back!.
• Headline: FREE-FOR-ALL ON BOAT ENDS HARLEM BENEFIT; Excursionists Bet on Boastful Swimmer, and Riot Follows His Premature Rescue.. Impact: This chaotic boat ride sparked a new trend in benefit events: they started including a bouncer to prevent any future aquatic brawls. Ironically, this boosted attendance numbers, because who doesn’t love a good riot?. Fact: Did you know that betting on swimmers is only slightly less ridiculous than betting on turtles? At least turtles can’t punch you in the face when they lose!.
• Headline: PISTOL JAILS GUARD OF DOMINICAN EXILE; Aide of Urena, Ex-President Who Fled After Revolt, Seized In Chief's Apartment Here. BROTHERS FEAR FOR LIVES Leader of Coup in 1930, Hiding From Foes in East 75th St. Basement, Says He Has Been Warned.. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction that led to an entire genre of political thrillers, ensuring that future generations would be entertained while learning about the consequences of revolutions. Who knew jail time could inspire bestselling novels?. Fact: Did you know that hiding from your enemies in a basement is about as effective as trying to dodge your responsibilities by binge-watching reality TV? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work!.
• Headline: GETS $3,950 IN BUS FINES.; New Jersey Also Cancels Rights of Two Lines Failing to Appear.. Impact: The hefty fines and cancellations led to a much stricter bus licensing system, where future bus drivers were forced to take a 'how not to get fined' course, resulting in a whole new generation of punctual drivers. Who had 'driving school' on their bingo card?. Fact: Did you know that getting fined on public transport is just a rite of passage? It's like paying taxes, but with more anger and less paperwork!.
• Headline: WALKER'S SUIT DEPLORED.; Appeal to Court Viewed as a Great Disappointment to His Admirers.. Impact: The disappointment surrounding Walker's court appeal led to an increase in the popularity of courtroom drama shows, proving that nothing brings people together quite like the failure of a politician trying to dodge consequences.. Fact: Did you know that political disappointments are like bad first dates? You keep hoping for something good to happen, but it usually just ends in tears and awkwardness..
• Headline: Prof. Piccard Writing a Book On Flights Into Stratosphere. Impact: Piccard’s foray into writing inspired countless scientists to pen their own memoirs, resulting in a literary boom that eventually led to the invention of the 'scientific autobiography'—a genre so niche, it only appeals to two people.. Fact: Did you know that writing a book on stratospheric flights is not as exciting as it sounds? Spoiler alert: it involves more math than adventure!.