AUGUST 5, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Missouri Primary of 1932. Impact: The Missouri primary results could have led to a different candidate winning the nomination, which might have changed the course of American political history forever. Imagine a world where a different president decided to invade Canada instead of, I don’t know, doing something actually useful.. Fact: Did you know that primaries are basically just a really long audition for the role of 'Leader of the Free World'? Talk about high stakes!.
• Headline: 1932 Campaign Speakers Event Overview. Impact: The campaign speakers' influence on the public could have led to a wildly different outcome in the election. If one speaker had choked on a word, we might have ended up with a completely different set of policies, or worse—an entire generation of politicians who can’t pronounce ‘nuclear’!. Fact: Fun fact: 'Campaign speaker' is just a fancy term for someone who can talk for hours without saying anything meaningful..
• Headline: REVEALS TAMMANY AIDED CUBAN REVOLT; Member of Revolutionary Junta Writes of $30,000 Gift for "Sick and Wounded." TELLS OF MEETING CROKER Largest American Contribution in Fight Against Spain Came From Hall, H.S. Rubens Says.. Impact: Tammany Hall's financial support for the Cuban revolt might have shifted the balance of power in the Caribbean. If they hadn't intervened, maybe Cuba would have become a popular vacation destination for those who enjoy sun, cigars, and Revolutions 101.. Fact: Interesting fact: Tammany Hall was notorious for its corrupt practices. Who knew that supporting revolutions was part of their side hustle?.
• Headline: CHOCOLATE VICTOR IN BOUT WITH SHEA; Successfully Defends Junior Lightweight Championship in Chicago Ring.. Impact: Chocolate's victory in the boxing ring might have inspired a new trend of sweet-themed sports, where athletes fight with candy canes and chocolate bars. Forget boxing gloves; we need chocolate gloves!. Fact: Fun fact: Chocolate has been known to boost your mood. Imagine if every fight ended with a dessert buffet!.
• Headline: Fist Thrust Through Window Balks Gem Thieves; Jeweler Used Same Alarm Six Years Before. Impact: The thwarted gem thieves might have led to an increase in security measures worldwide, resulting in an era where everyone had to wear fingerless gloves and discuss the finer points of alarm systems during dinner parties.. Fact: Did you know that the best way to foil a thief is to have an alarm system that works? Who knew that was a revolutionary concept?.
• Headline: TYLER SET PRECEDENT.; St. Lawrence Treaty Recalls Northeast Boundary Matter.. Impact: Tyler's precedent in the Northeast boundary matter could have led to a more straightforward and peaceful resolution of disputes, saving countless hours of diplomatic back-and-forth. But alas, that would be too easy, wouldn’t it?. Fact: Did you know that boundary disputes are basically just adult versions of arguing over who owns the last cookie? How mature!.
• Headline: EDITOR WHITE EXPLAINS.; Still Contends His Jim Reed Story Should Have Been True.. Impact: The editor's insistence on his story's truth could have led to a complete overhaul of journalistic standards. If only we could have a time machine to see how that would have played out on social media!. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'fake news' was probably uttered long before the internet. Some things never change!.
• Headline: Lightest Engines for Huge Power Ever Made In Miss England III; Weigh 13 Ounces Per H.P.. Impact: The development of the lightest engines could have revolutionized transportation, leading to flying cars and a world where everyone can complain about their 'car not flying' in traffic jams. Thanks, Miss England III!. Fact: Did you know that lighter engines mean less fuel consumption? Who knew engineering could make you feel lighter in your wallet too?.