JULY 15, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Orangemen Clash in Liverpool Cathedral Riot. Impact: The shattering of stained-glass windows led to an unexpected rise in DIY home repair shows in the 21st century, as people realized they could channel their anger into something more constructive – like crafting their own 'artistic' replacement windows.. Fact: Did you know that shattered stained-glass windows were once the hallmark of artistic rebellion? Nowadays, it's just a sign you should invest in better neighborhood watch programs..
• Headline: Roosevelt Backs Lehman for Governor. Impact: Roosevelt's support for Lehman inadvertently triggered the modern obsession with political endorsements, leading to a future where celebrities and influencers would dominate ballots instead of actual politicians. Thanks, Teddy!. Fact: Did you know that Roosevelt once tried to endorse a flavor of ice cream for governor too? Spoiler: it was Rocky Road..
• Headline: Westchester Taxpayers Organize for Reforms. Impact: The formation of taxpayer groups in Westchester set off a nationwide movement that eventually resulted in the creation of 'Taxpayer Appreciation Day,' where people awkwardly celebrated taxes with cupcakes and a sense of resignation.. Fact: Did you know that 'tax reform' is just a fancy way of saying 'let’s argue about money in public for the next decade?'.
• Headline: CARROLL TO OFFER TWO LONDON PLAYS; Will Also Present Tenth Edition of "Vanities" Featuring Seventy European Performers.. Impact: Carroll's theatrical ambitions ignited a revolution in the arts, leading to an explosion of entertainment that would eventually alienate half the population who still just want to watch cat videos.. Fact: Did you know that the Tenth Edition of "Vanities" was just an excuse for a really long intermission?.
• Headline: Seeking a Show-Down.. Impact: The ongoing debate over prohibition led to the eventual rise of speakeasies, which then inspired the modern craft cocktail movement. Because nothing says 'freedom' like a $12 drink with a garnish you can't pronounce.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing prohibition achieved was a lot of very creative ways to hide alcohol? Think of it as America's first reality show..
• Headline: KELLOGG ARRIVING FROM EUROPE TODAY; Former Secretary of State and Wife Due on Leviathan -- Helen Jacobs on Liner. HUTCHINS LEAVING TONIGHT University of Chicago Head on Way to Tour Canals in Netherlands -- F.R. Coudert to Sail.. Impact: Kellogg's return from Europe sparked the idea that every politician should have a dramatic travel itinerary, leading to the rise of the modern-day ‘photo op’ where leaders pretend to be world travelers while sipping overpriced coffee.. Fact: Did you know that the Leviathan was not only a ship but also a great excuse for politicians to avoid doing actual work?.
• Headline: 5-DAY WEEK URGED IN REPORT TO HOOVER; Government Should Take Lead in Movement, Says Group Led by T.E. Campbell. HELD A RECOVERY STEP Proposal, It Is Declared, Would Also Act to Prevent Similar Future Disturbances. VARIATIONS ARE SUGGESTED Backers Point Out Some Services Must Not Be Interrupted -- President Approves Principle.. Impact: The push for a 5-day work week accidentally laid the groundwork for the 4-day work week movement, which now has people asking, 'Can we just skip Mondays altogether?'. Fact: Did you know that the idea of a 5-day work week was originally proposed by someone who just really wanted to extend their weekend? Spoiler alert: it worked..
• Headline: CALLES PARTY HERE ON WAY TO MEXICO; Ex-President Is Delighted Over Wife's Recovery From Major Operation in Boston. TRAVEL IN 2 PRIVATE CARS Railroad Installs Cooling System for Convalescent's Comfort -- Envoy to Washington in Entourage.. Impact: Calles' journey to Mexico created a ripple effect that eventually led to the creation of the 'frequent flyer' program, allowing politicians to visit their home countries in style while pretending it was for diplomatic reasons.. Fact: Did you know that Calles' entourage was basically the precursor to modern travel influencers? They just didn’t have Instagram yet..
• Headline: AMERICANS TO TEST ANGLO-FRENCH PACT; Will Push New Arms Resolution at Geneva to See if Entente Will Stand Solidly. SIMON FAILS TO REASSURE Our Delegates Resent Intimation That Washington Approved Gentlemen's Agreement. AMERICANS TO TEST ANGLO-FRENCH PACT. Impact: The testing of the Anglo-French pact over arms resolutions sparked a chain reaction that would lead to the invention of the 'debate club' in schools, where students learned to discuss world affairs while avoiding doing their homework.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more awkward than a failed arms resolution is a high school debate on it? Trust me, I've seen both..
• Headline: Longfellow on Reading Aloud.. Impact: Longfellow's emphasis on reading aloud contributed to the eventual rise of audiobooks, thereby ensuring that future generations could enjoy literature while simultaneously ignoring their responsibilities.. Fact: Did you know that 'reading aloud' was just a clever way for parents to ensure their kids wouldn’t interrupt them during their own reading time? Genius!.