JUNE 16, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mrs. George S. Hunt's 90th Birthday Celebration. Impact: Mrs. Hunt's dedication to women's causes sparked a chain reaction that led to women being granted the right to vote. It also inspired a generation of cats to start their own advocacy groups, resulting in the famous 'Feline Feminism Movement'.. Fact: Did you know that Mrs. Hunt once tried to run a campaign for cats' rights? Unfortunately, it was met with 'paws' for concern..
• Headline: Hun School Class of 1932 Graduation. Impact: The graduation of 31 students from Hun School prompted a mass exodus of overqualified baristas into the job market, resulting in our current coffee culture of artisanal lattes and a profound shortage of basic communication skills.. Fact: You know the saying, 'those who can, do; those who can't, graduate'? Well, these 31 graduates are probably hoping to avoid that fate..
• Headline: Lea Family Appeal Denied by North Carolina Court. Impact: Lea's appeal loss led to a series of legal precedents that ultimately resulted in the invention of the 'Lawyer's Coffee Break', a mandatory period of time for lawyers to complain about their cases while drinking overpriced coffee.. Fact: Did you know that L. Lea once unsuccessfully tried to appeal a parking ticket? The court ruled against him, stating that 'no one is above the law, especially when it comes to parallel parking.'.
• Headline: Address of Bertrand H. Snell as Permanent Chairman. Impact: Bertrand H. Snell's speech as Permanent Chairman sparked an unending debate on whether chairmen should actually sit or just hover over their chairs, leading to the invention of the 'Chairman Hoverboard'.. Fact: Did you know that Snell's speeches were so riveting that they were often used as a sleep aid? Many people still wake up thinking they missed something important..
• Headline: REPEAL REJECTED, 681-472; Hoover Leaders Keep Grip on Delegates in a Stiff Battle. EXTREME DRYS ALSO LOSE Measure Calls for Conventions on New Amendment for State and Federal Control. FULL PLATFORM ADOPTED Final Refusal of Dawes to Run Spikes the Guns of the Anti-Curtis Forces. CONVENTION ADOPTS THE DRY LAW PLANK. Impact: The rejection of the repeal marked a turning point in American politics, leading to a century-long debate that ultimately inspired the popular TV show 'Parks and Recreation', where fictional politicians made the same mistakes, but with better punchlines.. Fact: Fun fact: The 18th Amendment was originally proposed during a particularly wild party that got out of hand. So, in a way, it was a party foul that lasted decades..
• Headline: CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY HONORS TWO ENVOYS; Confers Doctor of Laws Degree on the Italian Ambassador and the Yagoslav Minister.. Impact: By honoring two envoys, Catholic University inadvertently set off a diplomatic chain reaction that resulted in the creation of the 'Please Don’t Make Us Discuss Politics' club, which is still active today at most family gatherings.. Fact: Did you know that honorary degrees are basically like participation trophies for adults? Everyone gets one, but only a few really know what it means!.
• Headline: NEW MOVEMENT MADE TO NAME COOLIDGE; New Jersey Man Is Leader in Proposal to Draft the Former President.. Impact: The movement to name Coolidge led to an unforeseen increase in Coolidge-themed merchandise, spawning a bizarre trend where people wore 'Coolidge for President' t-shirts to grocery stores, confusing everyone.. Fact: Did you know that Coolidge once spoke for two hours without saying anything? They say it was the most effective filibuster in history—no one even noticed!.
• Headline: Jersey Sentiment for Edge.. Impact: Jersey's sentiment for Edge sparked a nationwide debate over whether being 'edgy' is a desirable trait in politicians, leading to a surge in candidates sporting leather jackets and sunglasses indoors.. Fact: Fun fact: Edge was actually a nickname given to him by his high school friends, who couldn't quite decide if he was cool or just really, really trying..
• Headline: ROCKEFELLER ASKED FOR NEXT DRY STEP; Dr. H.T. Kerr Writes That the Butler Repeal Plan Offers 'No Constructive Substitute.' WET PRESS' IS ASSAILED Head of Presbyterian Education Board Says It Obscured Wickersham Report Findings.. Impact: Rockefeller's inquiry into the next dry step led to a nationwide obsession with dry humor, which eventually influenced stand-up comedians to craft their acts around awkward pauses and uncomfortable truths.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'dry' in 'dry law' refers not to the law itself but to the humor of those who tried to enforce it? Spoiler: it was pretty dry..