JUNE 14, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Village Idea Movement Expands. Impact: The spread of the Village Idea led to an explosion of hipster enclaves, where artisanal bread was eventually invented, and people began paying $10 for a cup of coffee. Thanks, artists!. Fact: Did you know that the Village Idea actually originated from a group of people who just wanted to avoid paying rent in Manhattan?.
• Headline: Sergeant Accused of Assault in Honolulu. Impact: This accusation sparked a series of events that led to increased scrutiny of military personnel, resulting in a bizarre future where every soldier had to take a 'charm school' class before deployment.. Fact: Sergeants denying accusations? Sounds like military training for future politicians!.
• Headline: Auburn Stock Borrowing Rates Surge. Impact: The rise in borrowing rates for securities set off a chain reaction leading to the invention of the term 'short squeeze,' which was later used to describe both stock markets and tight jeans.. Fact: 75 cents a share? Back in the day, that was a small fortune—now you can barely buy a decent snack with that!.
• Headline: CHICAGO 'BONUS ARMY' INVADES PARTY ROOMS; 200 Visit Hotel Headquarters -- Keim Promises to Put Demands Before Resolution Body.. Impact: The Chicago Bonus Army's invasion of party rooms created a precedent for protest tactics, ultimately leading to the modern-day political rally, where people just scream at each other over overpriced coffee.. Fact: Who knew that the ultimate goal of a 'Bonus Army' was just to party crash political events? Sounds like the ultimate college experience!.
• Headline: FULLER FOR MODIFICATION.; Ex-Governor Would "Take Prohibi- tion Out of Politics.". Impact: Fuller's idea to remove prohibition from politics set off a wave of future discussions that eventually led to politicians arguing about whether or not to ban pineapple on pizza.. Fact: Ah yes, the noble cause of taking prohibition out of politics—a move that ultimately led to countless debates over what constitutes 'acceptable' drinking!.
• Headline: I GardneruNoble.. Impact: The engagement announcement inadvertently sparked a worldwide trend of announcing relationships on social media, leaving future generations wondering how they survived without public validation.. Fact: Engagements used to be private affairs; now we have a whole 'save-the-date' industry. Progress?.
• Headline: Farmers Marching Home.. Impact: Farmers marching home was a pivotal moment that led to a future where farmers are still marching, but now it's for better Wi-Fi in rural areas.. Fact: Marching farmers? Just think—if they had had smartphones, they'd have been live-tweeting their journey home!.
• Headline: DEDICATE NEWELL TABLET.; 100 Pay Tribute to Late Head of Greenwich Riding Group.. Impact: The dedication of the Newell tablet inspired future generations to immortalize their heroes in ways that often involve embarrassing statues in city parks.. Fact: Dedicated tablets have come a long way. Now we just dedicate Instagram posts instead!.
• Headline: WOMEN VOTE FIGHT ON WET PLATFORM; They Declare They Will Oppose Dry Candidate on an Anti- Prohibition Plank. WARNING IS SENT TO HOOVER Message From Chicago Meeting States Their 'Solemn Purpose' to Uphold Amendment. SEPARATE TICKET TALKED But Leaders Say Such a Move Will Depend on Action Taken at Major Conventions.. Impact: The anti-prohibition sentiment among women led to a future where political platforms were more about cocktails than actual governance, making 'wet' and 'dry' a debate that's still raging.. Fact: A warning to Hoover? Sounds like a drinking game waiting to happen. 'Every time someone mentions prohibition, take a sip!'.