JUNE 2, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hopkins and Aikman Wedding Ceremony. Impact: This marriage somehow leads to the invention of the modern wedding registry, which later causes countless couples to argue over which toaster to choose. Thanks, HopkinsuAikman.. Fact: Did you know that wedding registries were originally created to prevent couples from receiving 17 identical toasters? True story..
• Headline: Chase National Reduces Dividend Payments. Impact: Chase National's decision to reduce dividends creates a ripple effect that leads to a nationwide panic about bank stability, ultimately inspiring the phrase 'not my circus, not my monkeys' in financial conversations.. Fact: You know, because nothing says 'trustworthy' like a bank cutting your dividends. That's how they keep you on your toes!.
• Headline: Tribute to Garibaldi's Beloved Wife. Impact: The public mourning for Garibaldi's wife sparks a trend in elaborate funeral processions that eventually leads to an over-the-top funeral industry. Thanks a lot, Genoa.. Fact: Did you know that throwing roses at a funeral was once considered the height of respect? Nowadays, we just throw shade..
• Headline: TURKEY'S DEBT AIDS MATCH CREDITORS; Virtual Agreement Reported for $14,250,000 Repayment to international Concern. FOUR BANKS TO BE SUED Referee Authorizes Action to Recover 350,000 Shares of Diamond Match Stock. IRVING TRUST IS TRUSTEE Elected Despite Protest of Colby Committee -- Kreuger Safe Deposit Boxes in New Jersey. TURKEY'S DEBT AIDS MATCH CREDITORS. Impact: Turkey’s repayment plan sets off a chain reaction that leads to some very shady banking practices, resulting in more 'trust' issues than a high school relationship.. Fact: Fun fact: International finance is just like high school—everybody is trying to avoid being the one left holding the bag..
• Headline: StrattonuMuir.. Impact: StrattonuMuir's engagement sets a new standard for couple names, leading to the eventual rise of celebrity couple mash-ups, like Kimye and Brangelina. Thanks for starting that mess.. Fact: Did you know that celebrity couple names are now so common, even your grandma probably has a nickname for her bingo partner?.
• Headline: CUBA INDUCTS FERRARA.; Ex-Ambassador to Washington Becomes Secretary of State.. Impact: The induction of Ferrara as Secretary of State leads to a new era of Cuban politics that sees more twists and turns than a telenovela, ultimately inspiring countless plotlines for future soap operas.. Fact: Did you know that real-life politics is often more dramatic than fiction? You can’t make this stuff up—unless you’re a writer in Hollywood!.
• Headline: CAPITAL ASKS FUND TO FEED BONUS ARMY; Police Superintendent, Appearing Before Senate Committee, Says $75,000 Is Needed. HUNDREDS MORE ON WAY Officials Doubt That They Will Have Sufficient Facilities to Meet the Problem.. Impact: The request for funds to feed the Bonus Army leads to a massive shift in public perception about veterans, eventually inspiring more legislation than you can shake a stick at. Thanks, Washington!. Fact: Did you know that the Bonus Army was basically the original crowd to demonstrate for benefits? It’s like a prequel to all modern protests!.
• Headline: WESTPORT WOMAN SLAIN.; Suitor Is Held After Gun Fight With His Alleged Rival.. Impact: The tragic slaying of the Westport woman leads to the creation of stricter gun laws, which takes longer than expected, prompting people to wonder if the 'law' is just a suggestion.. Fact: Did you know that tragedies often lead to new laws? Unfortunately, it sometimes takes longer than it does to binge-watch an entire season of your favorite show..
• Headline: FOUR BANKS TO APPEAL INSULL SECURITY WRIT; Federal Circuit Court in Chicago Allows Action in Effort to Sell Collateral.. Impact: Four banks appealing for the Insull security writ leads to a domino effect of legal battles that make lawyers' fees skyrocket, ensuring that everyone involved will be paying off debt until the end of time.. Fact: Did you know that legal fees are basically the adult version of being grounded for a long time? No one ever wants to be in that situation!.