MAY 11, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nature Exhibit Highlights Topics of the Times. Impact: This nature exhibit sparked a global movement for environmental awareness. Who knew that a few plants in a glass box would lead to climate change conferences and people hugging trees?. Fact: The first nature exhibits were actually just really fancy gardens where people pretended to be interested in horticulture..
• Headline: Nelson Relics Auctioned in London. Impact: The sale of Nelson's relics unleashed a frenzy for historical memorabilia, eventually leading to reality TV shows where people bid on dust bunnies believed to belong to famous figures.. Fact: For $595, you could have bought a sword that might have once belonged to Nelson. Or, you could buy a new smartphone that can do everything but slice bread..
• Headline: GIVES CITY WORKERS YEAR TO MOVE HERE; Proposed Bill Would Bar Most Non-Resident Employes From Jobs After Prescribed Time. FAVORABLE ACTION SEEN Aldermanic Board Expected to Pass Ordinance Revision-Teachers Oppose Plan.. Impact: This residence ordinance caused a mass exodus of teachers and municipal workers, which led to a nationwide crisis in education and a sharp increase in 'I quit' letters being sent via carrier pigeon.. Fact: Most teachers actually prefer to teach in cities—not only for the coffee but also for the hope of avoiding life in a cardboard box..
• Headline: Lady Chetwode Arrives in Tourist Cabin; 'Why Spend Money Uselessly?' Her Attitude. Impact: Lady Chetwode's frugality became a case study in 'How to be a millionaire without spending a dime', inspiring countless future millionaires to live in tiny homes while complaining about their student loans.. Fact: Tourist cabins were once considered the epitome of luxury. Now, they’re just fancy camping trips without the bugs... hopefully..
• Headline: DOAK PASSES LIE TO TEXTILE WORKER; Labor Secretary Resents Charge of Union Official That He "Sold Out" to Railroads. HOOVER ALSO ASSAILED Delegation Protesting Detention of Edith Berkman Hurls Charges in Capital Office.. Impact: Doak's denial of selling out led to a series of labor disputes that would inspire future workers to channel their inner drama queens, leading to a renaissance of union protests characterized by theatrical flair.. Fact: The only thing more volatile than a labor dispute is the coffee machine in the break room during a staff meeting..
• Headline: Mr. Rogers's Heart Goes Out To Our Envoy to St. James's. Impact: Mr. Rogers' heartfelt sentiments sparked a wave of diplomatic niceness, leading to international treaties based on the principle that 'we're all neighbors'. That worked out well, right?. Fact: Mr. Rogers once said he felt like a neighbor to everyone. Spoiler alert: He wasn't paying their rent..
• Headline: POLICEMAN GRABS SENATOR; Wild Scene in Anteroom Follows Outburst at Hearing on Buses. HERRICK IS LINKED TO DEAL Park Commissioner Aided in Move to Sell Equitable to the B.M.T., Harkness Swears. PLAN WON OVER CITY HALL Willingness of Dahl to Buy Franchise Ended Official Hostility, Witness Says. Outburst by Hastings Halts Hearing on $1,000,000 Bus Deal. Impact: The wild scene with the policeman and senator revealed the inherent chaos of political dealings, paving the way for future reality TV shows that dramatized the lives of politicians while somehow making them more likable.. Fact: When politicians get into scuffles, it’s usually just a misguided attempt to audition for a new action movie: 'Brawls on the Hill'..
• Headline: uuuuuuu XankforduMomsen. j. Impact: The engagement announcement sparked a brief trend of using unusual names for babies, notably leading to a generation of children who had to spell their names during every roll call.. Fact: Engagements were once celebrated with grand parties. Now, it's just a Facebook status change and a lot of eye-rolling from friends..
• Headline: HELENE COSTELLO WINS DIVORCE ON CROSS-BILL; Judge on Coast Refuses Decree to Sherman After She Cites His 'Continuous Nagging.'. Impact: Helene Costello's divorce case set a precedent for future courtroom drama, leading to the rise of daytime talk shows dedicated to 'Nagging Spouses' and 'Why I Left My Ex'.. Fact: Judges have heard far crazier reasons for divorce, including 'he wouldn't share the remote' and 'she put pineapple on pizza'..