APRIL 28, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Willard Indicted for Perjury in 1932. Impact: Willard's perjury indictment set off a chain reaction, leading to a new reality TV series called 'Who’s Lying Now?' where politicians compete to see who can tell the best fib without getting caught. Spoiler alert: they all lose.. Fact: Perjury charges are the universe's way of telling you to double-check your stories. Who knew honesty could be such a slippery slope?.
• Headline: Newbery Medal Awarded to Mrs. L.A. Armer. Impact: Mrs. L.A. Armer's Newbery Medal-winning book became the catalyst for a nationwide obsession with award-winning literature, leading to countless book clubs and the eventual rise of hipster coffee shops that serve overpriced lattes and sell artisanal bookmarks.. Fact: The Newbery Medal was named after a bookseller, which means it’s basically a fancy way of saying 'best book to use as a doorstop.'.
• Headline: Carriers' Income Declines in March 1932. Impact: The shrinking incomes of carriers sparked a revolution in the postal service, inspiring a new breed of entrepreneurs who started offering 'letter delivery by drone' services. Because who wouldn't trust a drone with their birthday cards?. Fact: In the era of decreasing income, it's comforting to know that even the postal service faces budget cuts. Now we just need to figure out how to send letters via carrier pigeons again..
• Headline: $65,000 IN BRICE LEGACIES.; Will, Accepted at Greenwich, Dis- tributes Them Among Relatives.. Impact: The acceptance of the Brice legacies led to a bizarre family feud over who deserved what, ultimately resulting in a reality show called 'Inheritance Wars' where relatives battle it out in ludicrous challenges to determine who gets the family silver.. Fact: Inheriting money can be a great way to discover just how dysfunctional your family really is. Who knew legacies came with a side of drama?.
• Headline: DAMAGE SUIT LOOMS OVER DIETRICH FILM; Paramount Preparing Action Against Von Sternberg to Recover $100,000 Loss. PICTURE DIRECTOR IS HERE Cagney, Suspended by Warners, Not to Appear at Premiere of His New Picture Tonight.. Impact: The looming damage suit over Dietrich's film became a cautionary tale in Hollywood, leading to the establishment of strict 'no walking out' clauses in actor contracts and the rise of dramatic exits as a new form of artistic expression.. Fact: Walking out of a film shoot is like dropping the mic, except instead of applause, you get a lawsuit. Talk about a dramatic exit!.
• Headline: Cows Are Put on New Pastures Reclaimed From Zuyder Zee. Impact: Reclaiming pastures from the Zuyder Zee not only transformed agriculture but also sparked the idea of 'cow yoga' as a trendy wellness retreat, where stressed-out city folks go to relax with cows in serene surroundings.. Fact: Cows on reclaimed land are the original environmental activists, advocating for sustainability long before it was cool. Moo-ve over, hipsters!.
• Headline: RAILROADS ORDERED TO REPORT SALARIES; Interstate Commerce Commission Asks for Lists of Positions Paying $10,000 or More.. Impact: The Interstate Commerce Commission's demand for salary reports inspired a new wave of transparency in corporate America, ultimately leading to a bizarre trend where companies held 'salary reveal parties' akin to baby showers.. Fact: It's funny how asking about salaries became a thing; it’s like finally admitting that we all know nobody's really making $10,000 a year doing what they love..
• Headline: SHIP LINES REJECT STRIKE COMPROMISE; Pier Workers Offer to Accept 70 Cents an Hour Instead of Disputed Cut of 67. REMOVE BAN ON TRUCKING Congested Freight Begins to Move as Pickets Also Are Withdrawn -- But Union Men Remain Out.. Impact: The rejection of the strike compromise sparked a new labor movement that would eventually lead to the concept of 'remote work,' where workers could strike from the comfort of their couches instead of picketing outside in the rain.. Fact: Rejecting 70 cents an hour just shows how far we've come; now we just complain about how much we spend on avocado toast instead..
• Headline: Halliburton In Manila on Tour.. Impact: Halliburton's tour in Manila led to a series of 'business trips' that morphed into a global conspiracy theory about how they were secretly scouting locations for the next big reality show: 'Survivor: Corporate Edition.'. Fact: Touring Manila may not seem exciting, but it’s still better than being stuck in a boardroom discussing quarterly reports. Who says business can’t be fun?.