APRIL 22, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sophomoric Remarks Incident. Impact: This headline sparked a chain reaction of unqualified opinions that led to the rise of social media influencers, forever blurring the line between expertise and general cluelessness.. Fact: Did you know that sophomores are just one year away from being juniors but still haven't figured out how to make a decent cup of coffee?.
• Headline: Bankers' Bills Acceptance Rate Drops. Impact: This event set off a financial domino effect that eventually led to the invention of the 'money tree,' which unfortunately only grows in very rich neighborhoods.. Fact: Did you know that in banking circles, a 1/4 of 1 percent cut is equivalent to a barista forgetting to add an espresso shot? It’s just sad..
• Headline: INHERITANCE TAX EVASION.; Avoidance of Higher Rates Through the Device of Living Trusts and Gifts. Impact: The rise of living trusts created a shadowy underworld of tax evaders, who now had their own secret handshake and a club motto: 'Why pay taxes when you can just move money around?'. Fact: Inheritance tax is often referred to as the 'death tax' — because nothing says 'I love you' like taxing your loved ones after you're gone..
• Headline: SMITH AIDES WIDEN RIFT IN CONNECTICUT; Thwart Another Attempt by Cross for Compromise in Fight on Roosevelt. HOUSE PRAISES GOVERNOR Denies Change in Attitude and Calls Him "Most Available" Man for the Presidency.. Impact: This political tussle led to a perpetual cycle of 'who's the best candidate,' resulting in a national pastime of mudslinging that ultimately birthed reality TV.. Fact: Did you know that political rifts are sometimes just a fancy way of saying, 'We can't agree on pizza toppings?'.
• Headline: A RARE ENGRAVING.; Print of Doolittle's Plate of Washington's Inauguration Is on View.. Impact: The display of this engraving sparked a surge in historical appreciation, leading to a sudden influx of amateur historians who mistakenly believe they can start a podcast about the 18th century.. Fact: Did you know that Doolittle's plate was not actually used for dinner? It was just for show — much like many of today's social media 'influencers.'.
• Headline: REAL OPPORTUNITY FOR GOOD OFFERS.; We Are Derelict in Duty to Our Neighbor, and Means to Overcome I Are Available.. Impact: This call to action inspired numerous community service projects, many of which ended up being poorly organized potlucks where no one brought utensils.. Fact: Did you know that 'derelict' is not just a description for abandoned ships but also for community service events that completely flop?.
• Headline: Essentially Sincere.. Impact: This vague endorsement led to an influx of 'sincere' statements in politics, paving the way for the 'I promise to be sincere' campaign slogan that never quite took off.. Fact: Did you know that 'essentially sincere' is often how you describe your friend who keeps borrowing money but 'totally forgets' to pay it back?.
• Headline: Sculpture by Agnes Yarnall.. Impact: This exhibition inspired countless people to try their hand at sculpture, resulting in a wave of questionable art pieces that could only be appreciated after a few glasses of wine.. Fact: Did you know that sculptures are just three-dimensional versions of those 'do-it-yourself' projects that you probably have lying around the house, half-finished?.