APRIL 16, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: 500 Club Delegates Garden Tour. Impact: This garden tour inspired future generations to think that attending conventions is a valid excuse for avoiding real work. Just imagine all the important decisions made over tea and crumpets while surrounded by flowers.. Fact: The delegates probably spent more time discussing their favorite flowers than any actual policy changes. Talk about prioritizing!.
• Headline: Jane Addams Pays Tribute to Lathrop. Impact: Jane Addams' mourning sparked an underground movement of people who believed that mourning could be a fashionable trend. It’s rumored that the 'Mourning Look' became a short-lived fashion sensation, rivaling the little black dress.. Fact: Jane Addams was a pioneer in social work and co-founded the Hull House. If only she knew her grief would lead to a fashion line!.
• Headline: TOPICS OF THE TIMES.. Impact: The fireworks display planned for Washington's bicentennial resulted in a series of increasingly extravagant celebrations, culminating in the modern-day Super Bowl halftime show. Because nothing says 'patriotism' like a giant inflatable balloon.. Fact: Fireworks were initially meant to celebrate, but they quickly became the bane of pets everywhere. Thanks, U.S. history!.
• Headline: SUIT CHARGES PERRY SOUGHT ILLEGAL FEE; City Court Clerk Is Accused of Demanding $50 Instead of $3 to File Judgment. MANDAMUS WRIT IS ASKED Defendant, Still Under Fire on Big Deposits, Ordered to Appear in New Case on Monday.. Impact: Perry’s illegal fee scandal opened the floodgates for a plethora of 'creative financing' schemes, leading to the rise of 'How to Scam 101' courses in city administration.. Fact: Instead of filing fees, maybe we should have just offered a coffee and doughnut? The city might have saved face!.
• Headline: GIGANTIC BOOK TO LIST BICENTENNIAL DONORS; Pages, Automatically Turned, to Show the Signatures of Those Aiding Washington Fete.. Impact: The creation of a gigantic book for donors led to an obsession with recognition that ultimately birthed the Instagram culture of 'look at me, I donated!'. Fact: In a world where attention spans are shorter than a TikTok video, the idea of automatically turning pages seems like a tedious task. Next, they'll have a holographic version!.
• Headline: TOPICS OF INTEREST TO THE CHURCHGOER; Cardinal and Mayor to Speak at Firemen's Holy Name Breakfast Tomorrow. LUTHERANS MEET MONDAY Synod to Hold 2-Day Conference -- International Missionary Rally to Be Held at Calvary Church.. Impact: The interfaith dialogue sparked by the churchgoers' topics led to a minor revolution in community potlucks, where everyone suddenly had to be well-versed in every religion's favorite dishes.. Fact: Imagine the chaos at those potlucks. You’d have Lutherans bringing Jell-O salad next to Baptists with their fried chicken. A true culinary clash of the titans!.
• Headline: SUES McKEE FOR CITY JOB.; Aide, Suspended In Land Inquiry, Fights for Reinstatement.. Impact: McEneny’s fight for reinstatement became a cautionary tale for future city employees, warning them that suspensions could lead to unexpected 'reality TV' style drama.. Fact: If only McEneny had known that reality shows were just around the corner. He could've turned his struggle for a city job into a hit series!.