MARCH 22, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Art Alliance's Affordable Exhibition. Impact: This exhibition sparked a revolution in the art world where low-budget art became the new high art. Now, people are investing in half-eaten sandwiches and mismatched socks.. Fact: If you think art is expensive, try paying for a 'selfie' with a piece of toast!.
• Headline: $100,000 Alienation Suit Opens.. Impact: This alienation suit led to a series of lawsuits over feelings. Now, you can sue someone for just looking at you the wrong way. Welcome to the future of legal drama!. Fact: In the courtroom, 'alienation' now refers not just to property but also to the emotional bonds of your Wi-Fi connection..
• Headline: TWO NEW YORKERS HELD.; Arrested in Connection With $50,000 Gem Robbery at Miami Beach.. Impact: These arrests kickstarted the trend of celebrity crime stories, leading to the birth of reality TV where people get famous for being involved in questionable activities.. Fact: In a shocking twist, the gems were found to be less valuable than the drama surrounding their theft—classic!.
• Headline: British Industry Sees Signs Of a Genuine Trade Revival. Impact: This supposed trade revival ended up being just a coffee break for British industries, setting off a ping-pong of optimism that would eventually lead to the phrase 'we're all in this together'—a favorite of politicians everywhere.. Fact: Spoiler alert: trade revivals rarely involve actual trade and more often involve people just feeling good about themselves..
• Headline: 40 PARIS THEATRES TO SHUT; Directors of Legitimate Playhouses Decide to Protest on Taxes.. Impact: The protest by theaters led to the invention of streaming services, where people could watch plays from the comfort of their own homes—definitely not a win for the theater industry.. Fact: If you think the taxes are high now, wait until the streaming services start charging you for just thinking about watching!.
• Headline: P.R.R. CUTS PENSIONS 10%; First Reduction Since System Was Started, Effective April 1.. Impact: The cut in pensions opened the floodgates for all kinds of corporate cost-cutting measures, leading to the expression 'retirement is for the rich' becoming a global phenomenon.. Fact: Pensions are like unicorns—everyone talks about them, but very few people actually see one..
• Headline: FEAST OF PURIM BEGINS.; Jewish Congregations to Continue With Celebrations Today.. Impact: The Feast of Purim became a global celebration of costumes and food, inadvertently giving rise to Halloween and every other excuse to wear outrageous outfits.. Fact: Purim is the only holiday where you can get away with dressing like a giant ham and no one will question your sanity!.