MARCH 14, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic 1932 German Election Results. Impact: The election results created a butterfly effect, causing political analysts to go into an existential crisis about democracy. Who knew that a few hundred votes could lead to decades of conspiracy theories about election integrity?. Fact: Did you know that voter turnout was around 90%? Meanwhile, today's average is more like 60%, because who needs a democracy when you can binge-watch another season of a reality show?.
• Headline: Mild Earth Tremor Hits Rumania. Impact: The slight quake in Rumania prompted a generation of conspiracy theorists to believe that it was a sign from the universe about upcoming changes—thus inspiring a trend of 'earthquake yoga' classes. Namaste.. Fact: Fun fact: Earthquakes have been known to cause more than just physical shifts; they can also shift your plans for the day, especially if you were planning to do absolutely nothing..
• Headline: FRENCH WOULD MEET HERE.; Veterans' Confederation Wants to Return Legion's Visit.. Impact: The French Veterans' Confederation's desire to hold a convention in the U.S. actually led to a series of awkward cultural exchanges, including the infamous 'French Fries vs. Freedom Fries' debate that shook diner menus for years.. Fact: Did you know that the French and American veterans' meetings were less about camaraderie and more about who could out-eat the other in pastries? Croissants were the true victor..
• Headline: Walker to Start Huge Pumps To End Waste at Croton Dam. Impact: Mayor Walker’s decision to end waste at Croton Dam led to a sudden spike in environmental awareness, which ultimately led to the rise of hipsters who drink organic, locally-sourced water from reclaimed rain. Talk about a ripple effect!. Fact: Fun fact: Croton Dam is not just a dam; it’s also a favorite spot for Instagram influencers looking for that perfect 'I care about the environment' shot..
• Headline: 38 HARVARD SCHOLARSHIPS.; Dr. C.W. Heath Receives the Mosely Traveling Fellowship.. Impact: Dr. Heath receiving a scholarship started a chain reaction of elite academic achievements, eventually leading to the invention of the coffee shop study session. Because who doesn't need caffeine to cram for exams?. Fact: Did you know that the Mosely Traveling Fellowship was basically the original study abroad program? Because nothing says 'worldly' like a trip to a library in a different country..
• Headline: NO MACHINE GUNS.; Mr. Mulrooney Held to Be Mistaken About Fake-Hanley Bill.. Impact: Mr. Mulrooney's mistaken belief about the fake-Hanley bill sparked a series of 'who's who' in political blunders, leading to the invention of the phrase 'fake news' decades before it became a thing. You're welcome, history.. Fact: Did you know that political blunders are a time-honored tradition? They’re basically the adult version of tripping over your own shoelaces in front of your crush..
• Headline: FOSDICK OUTLINES 3 BASES OF FAITH; First Is "Supreme Reality in, Universe to Which the Word God Corresponds." HE PUTS PERSONALITY NEXT Finally, He Suggests That No One Can Go Far Wrong by Pursuing "Noblest Personal Admiration.". Impact: Fosdick's outline of faith principles led to a surge in self-help books, which have now made people believe that reading about personal admiration makes them spiritually enlightened. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.. Fact: Fun fact: Fosdick’s definition of faith is so deep, it could probably solve the mystery of why we still haven’t found a good avocado toast recipe..