MARCH 11, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: 31st Infantry Stays in Shanghai Crisis. Impact: The decision to keep the 31st Infantry in Shanghai was a turning point. Had they left, who knows? Shanghai could have become the world’s first non-stop party destination, attracting every wannabe influencer from the 1930s onwards, leading to a century of dubious fashion trends.. Fact: The 31st Infantry was probably just waiting for the perfect Instagram filter before they made their exit..
• Headline: Adopting Families Initiative Launch. Impact: The concept of 'adopting families' could have spiraled into a reality show where families compete for the title of 'Most Adopted,' influencing social dynamics and family structures for generations. Imagine the ratings!. Fact: This trend might have been the precursor to modern-day social media influencers adopting pets for likes. Who knew?.
• Headline: AMHERST STUDENT SOUGHT.; Disappearance of John S. Wright, Son of Teacher Here, Held Voluntary. Impact: John S. Wright's disappearance could have set off a chain of amateur sleuths and true crime podcasters, making the case a cultural phenomenon and leading to a spike in people trying to solve their own family mysteries.. Fact: If only John had known that 'going missing' would lead to a Netflix series with a dramatic twist ending..
• Headline: Christians of Japan and China Will Seek Peace at Shanghai. Impact: The Christians of Japan and China seeking peace at Shanghai inadvertently led to the establishment of a 'Peace Summit' trend, resulting in a plethora of awkward photo ops featuring world leaders holding hands in a circle.. Fact: This gathering was probably the precursor to all the 'save the world' hashtags you're forced to see on social media now..
• Headline: AIR FORCE OF BRITAIN IN FAR-FLUNG MISSIONS; House of Commons Hears of Many Acts of Mercy Performed by the Service.. Impact: The Royal Air Force's acts of mercy could have sparked a series of international peace treaties, or at least inspired a reality TV series featuring pilots rescuing kittens from trees, boosting morale across the UK.. Fact: You know you’ve made it as a military force when your biggest accomplishment is saving a cat from a tree. British airmen, the unsung heroes of the feline world!.
• Headline: Notes of Social Activities in New York and Elsewhere. Impact: The social activities in New York were probably the early stages of what would become the modern-day 'influencer culture,' where every brunch and cocktail party is an opportunity for clout.. Fact: Back then, social activities were a bit more about connecting and less about posting the perfect avocado toast photo..
• Headline: MISS SUMMER ENGAGED. ___ .1; Daughter of Late Captain in Marine Corps to Wed B. F. Miller.. Impact: Miss Summer's engagement could have sparked a trend of military families creating elaborate engagement announcements, leading to a reality show about love during wartime—drama guaranteed!. Fact: Engagements back then were like a game of chess: lots of strategy, and someone always ends up in checkmate..
• Headline: Four Chinese Kidnappers Executed.. Impact: The execution of four Chinese kidnappers might have set a precedent for anti-kidnapping laws worldwide, possibly leading to the creation of a global 'No More Kidnapping' campaign, encouraging everyone to just stay home instead.. Fact: In a world where kidnappers were executed, you'd think people would have learned to stop leaving their doors unlocked..