FEBRUARY 25, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Blimp Visits Havana from Miami. Impact: This blimp flight sparked a worldwide obsession with air travel that led to the invention of inflatable unicorns for children. Imagine a world filled with floating unicorns instead of boring old airplanes.. Fact: Did you know that blimps are basically giant floating sausages? Enjoy that image while you contemplate your life choices..
• Headline: Chicago Stock Exchange's Short Sale Rule. Impact: This decision set off a chain reaction where everyone thought they could outsmart the stock market, inadvertently leading to the invention of the phrase 'buy high, sell low.' Thanks, Chicago!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing shorter than short sales is the attention span of your average stock trader?.
• Headline: Warrant Issued for Dr. Wilson. Impact: Dr. Wilson's reckless driving led to a nationwide debate about road safety, which eventually caused the invention of the pedestrian crossing sign. You're welcome, future generations.. Fact: Did you know that reckless driving might actually be a side effect of too much coffee? Or maybe just being an overachiever?.
• Headline: Mayor Cermak Starts Vacation.. Impact: Cermak's vacation inspired countless mayors to take extended breaks, leading to a nationwide trend of politicians disappearing right when they were needed most. Coincidence? I think not.. Fact: Did you know that politicians take vacations to recharge their 'I care' batteries? Too bad they often come back with a full charge of 'I don't.'.
• Headline: GENERAL MA SLAIN AT HARBIN IS REPORT; Erstwhile Hero of Defense of Manchuria Is Declared Victim of Assassin. FELL FROM CHINA'S GRACES Apology for "Inconveniencing" Japanese Adversary Cost Him Esteem Recently Won. WON POST IN NEW STATE He Announced at Inauguration He Would Resign as Expression of Regret to His People.. Impact: The assassination of General Ma led to a significant shift in military tactics in the region, ultimately changing the course of history in Manchuria and beyond. A somber reminder of the weight of leadership.. Fact: Did you know that being a general can be a dangerous job? It's almost as if people don't appreciate your authority when you lead armies into battle..
• Headline: M'DONALD'S SON GIVES PAY.; Returns to Treasury His $5,000 Salary as Under-Secretary. Impact: This act of returning salary set a precedent for future politicians, leading to a brief wave of altruism among public servants—before they quickly realized they preferred their paychecks.. Fact: Did you know that returning your salary as a politician is like a kid returning their Halloween candy? It sounds great until you realize the candy is the whole point..
• Headline: SAUNDERS' MILLIONS LEFT TO DAUGHTERS; Will of North Plainfield Inventor Includes Gift to William and Mary College.. Impact: The generous bequest inspired a trend of wealthy inventors leaving their fortunes to educational institutions, inadvertently leading to the rise of overpriced college textbooks. Thanks, rich people!. Fact: Did you know that leaving money to your children instead of a college could actually save them from student debt? Just a thought!.
• Headline: Florence Page Kimball Sings.. Impact: Kimball's singing career inspired an entire generation to pursue their dreams in music, leading to the rise of karaoke bars. You're welcome, people who think they can sing.. Fact: Did you know that karaoke is the only place where you can sound like a dying cat and still get applause? Truly a testament to human optimism!.
• Headline: More of Berengaria Gold Found.. Impact: The discovery of more gold led to a gold rush mentality, which in turn inspired countless treasure hunters and reality TV shows focused on finding lost riches. Who doesn't love a good gold digger story?. Fact: Did you know that gold is one of the few things that can make people act crazier than they already are? Just take a look at every 'prospector' in a reality show..