FEBRUARY 14, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Morse's Shift from Art to Invention. Impact: If Morse had stuck to painting, we might all be sending carrier pigeons instead of emails. That might've led to a rise in pigeon popularity, eventually resulting in a feathered Congress. Just imagine the debates!. Fact: Morse's telegraph was so revolutionary, it made him more famous than his paintings. Who knew a few dots and dashes would outshine landscapes?.
• Headline: Copper Prices Increase for First Time. Impact: The rise in copper prices sparked an underground movement of DIY artisans who believed they were the next great copper barons. Spoiler: they weren't.. Fact: Copper prices fluctuating is only slightly less exciting than watching paint dry. But hey, at least it’s not a complete snooze-fest!.
• Headline: Youth Power: Insights from 1932. Impact: This article could have been the catalyst for a youth-led revolution where every business was run by teenagers. You know, like a dystopian version of 'The Office' but with more TikTok dances.. Fact: If businesses really do need youth more than age, does that mean we should all start lying about our age on resumes? Asking for a friend..
• Headline: OPPOSE MORATORIUM ON BULGARIAN DEBTS; League Commissioners Find the Banks in Good Shape and Confidence in Currency.. Impact: The rejection of the moratorium on Bulgarian debts led to a series of financial meetings that could have rivaled a bad sitcom. Think 'The Office' but with more spreadsheets.. Fact: The League of Nations was like the adult at the playground trying to keep the kids from fighting. Spoiler: they were not very good at it..
• Headline: SIX POWERS AGREED ON LAUSANNE PLANS; London Statement Stresses Reparations Parley Date Was Set by All. WIDENING OF SCOPE HINTED Solution of "Other Economic and Financial Difficulties" Listed Among Objectives.. Impact: The agreement on Lausanne plans may have given rise to a new era of diplomatic snark, where reparations were discussed over passive-aggressive tea parties.. Fact: Reparations talks have been around longer than most people's attention spans. Maybe they should try using emojis to speed things along!.
• Headline: WINS $106,000 IN COURT.; Syracuse Publisher Accused Manufacturer of Stock-Deal Fraud.. Impact: After winning that court case, the publisher probably thought he could become the next big detective, leading to a series of unfortunate publishing scandals that rocked the literary world.. Fact: Winning $106,000 in court sounds great until you realize that’s just enough to buy a small island or a decent yacht. Tough choices!.
• Headline: DULL DAYS IN THE DUTCH DIAMOND MARKET; Millions of Dollars' Worth of Gems Lie in the Vaults and the Army Of Expert Cutters Is Forced to Pass the Time in Idleness. Impact: The dull days in the diamond market led to a secret society of bored gem cutters who started a revolution for more exciting gemstone cuts. Cue the 'Rebellion of the Rubies.'. Fact: The diamond market is so dull at times, they should consider hiring a stand-up comedian to keep the cutters entertained. 'Why did the diamond cross the road? To get to the other side of the vault!'.
• Headline: 35,000 See England Defeat Ireland at Rugby, 11 to 8. Impact: England's victory over Ireland may have led to an alternate timeline where rugby became a peaceful international tournament, with players hugging instead of tackling.. Fact: 35,000 people watching a rugby match sounds exciting until you realize half of them are just there for the nachos. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: 17th Century Ballads; THE PEPYS BALLADS. Edited by Hyder Edward Rollins. Vols. V, VI and VII. Illustrated. Cambridge: Harvard University Press. $3.50 a volume.. Impact: The publication of the Pepys Ballads might have inspired a future generation of songwriters, leading to a world where ballads became the dominant form of expression, and rap was but a distant memory.. Fact: If you think ballads are outdated, just remember that Shakespeare was once a popular playwright. Trends change faster than you can say 'to be or not to be.'.