JANUARY 16, 1932

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tribute to Jacob Appel. Impact: Jacob Appel's passing sparked a minor renaissance in obscure historical figures, leading to a bizarre trend of people naming their pets after him. The Appel Dog phenomenon swept the nation.. Fact: If you ever wondered what happens when someone dies and no one really remembers them, just look at the number of pets named after them..
• Headline: Essay Contest Awards by Chamber of Commerce. Impact: These essay prizes not only inspired future generations of writers, but also inadvertently started the tradition of kids using their parents' credit cards to buy good grades, which continues today.. Fact: 250,000 entries means 250,000 kids probably learned the art of procrastination, which is an invaluable life skill..
• Headline: FINDS NERVOUS ILLS IN HOMES OF IDLE; Entire Families Are Upset by Worry and Uncertainty, Nurse Bureau Head Reports. CROWDING A MAJOR FACTOR Tells of 13 Persons Living in a 3-Room Flat -- More Children Want to Go to School.. Impact: The distress reported in homes of idle families eventually contributed to the rise of reality TV, as people sought entertainment in the chaos of others' lives instead of their own.. Fact: Who knew that worrying about money could lead to a reality show phenomenon? Just wait until they make a series about living in a 3-room flat with 13 people..
• Headline: LOCATER FOR 1932 ISSUED.; Key to Social Register Lists All Names and Home Cities.. Impact: This social register became a crucial tool for the elite, ensuring that only the most connected could throw extravagant parties without worrying about crashing the wrong crowd. The 'who's who' of social snobbery was born.. Fact: Because nothing says 'I’m better than you' quite like a well-organized list of names and addresses..
• Headline: BARRON LONG BARRED FOR BETTING COUP; Ruled Off His Own Track, Agua Caliente, as Aftermath to Linden Tree incident. ASSAILS STEWARDS ACT Calls It Most Unjust in History of Racing -- Extension of Ban to U.S. and Canada Likely.. Impact: Barron Long's betting ban set a precedent that led to a plethora of conspiracy theories in the horse racing world, with fans convinced that every race was fixed, further fueling the drama that keeps fans glued to their screens.. Fact: Somewhere out there, a horse is probably named after this incident, and it definitely has more fans than Barron Long..
• Headline: Persian Vizier Regally Feted in Moscow; Hippodrome Races Recall Splendor of Old. Impact: The Persian Vizier’s visit to Moscow introduced a new level of diplomatic schmoozing that eventually led to an increase in over-the-top state dinners, with leaders competing for the most extravagant centerpieces.. Fact: Turns out, nothing says 'we're friends' quite like throwing a lavish banquet for someone who might just be plotting against you..
• Headline: Harry Braun Makes His Debut.. Impact: Braun's debut was so underwhelming that it prompted a global rethink on how to properly showcase mediocrity in performance arts, giving rise to the modern-day 'open mic' night.. Fact: If you thought your high school talent show was bad, just wait until you hear about Harry Braun's debut recital..
• Headline: FIGHTS ASSESSMENT CUTS.; Jersey Mayor Asks Reversal on $371,575 Reductions.. Impact: The mayor's fight against tax reductions led to a new era of 'taxation as a form of protest,' inspiring citizens to channel their frustration into dramatic city council meetings instead of actual change.. Fact: Because nothing screams 'democracy' quite like a bunch of people yelling at elected officials about money..
• Headline: PARIS IN SECRET DEAL FOR CANADIAN WHEAT; 10,000,000 Bushels Contracted for Last October Are Still Arriving at Mills.. Impact: This secret deal for Canadian wheat not only solidified France's culinary superiority, but also led to a rise in French restaurants around the world that still pretend they know what they're doing with wheat.. Fact: Little did they know that this would eventually lead to the rise of gluten-free diets, because how else can you make a French restaurant even more pretentious?.