DECEMBER 7, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Murder Mystery of Jersey Bootleggers. Impact: The feud between bootleggers led to a series of retaliatory murders that inspired countless films, making mobsters the beloved anti-heroes of cinema. Who knew a family squabble could birth the Godfather franchise?. Fact: Did you know that in the world of bootlegging, the only thing more common than a feud is a really bad haircut?.
• Headline: Phidelah Rice's New York Debut. Impact: Phidelah Rice’s debut sparked a theatrical renaissance in New York, leading to an explosion of dramatic performances, and eventually, the creation of the modern-day soap opera. Thanks a lot, Phidelah.. Fact: Fun fact: 'David Garrick' was such a hit that it inspired countless actors to pursue careers in acting—just what we needed, right?.
• Headline: Walker Accused of Bus Franchise Mismanagement. Impact: This little kerfuffle over $70 million led to serious political debates about budget cuts, eventually resulting in a nationwide obsession with saving money, which we still haven’t mastered.. Fact: You know you're in trouble when the city's affairs body has to remind the mayor how to count money. Maybe he was too busy perfecting his photo-op smile..
• Headline: Myron T. Herrick Monument Authorized by Paris Council. Impact: The authorization of Myron T. Herrick's monument led to a sudden surge in monument commissions, causing artists to realize they could make a living off of stone and bronze instead of actual talent.. Fact: Monuments are like the Instagram of the past; they’re all about profile height and getting likes from the locals... or pigeons..
• Headline: NEW YORK FLIER INJURED.; Samuel Hopkins Grashes Near Santa Barbara as Bride Looks On.. Impact: Samuel Hopkins’ crash was a pivotal moment in aviation safety regulations, leading to stricter protocols and a dramatic increase in insurance claims. Thank you, Samuel, for your sacrifice.. Fact: They say love is blind, but it definitely has a clearer view than a bride watching her husband crash on their wedding day..
• Headline: Mr. Rogers, a Real Countryman, Lives Up to All Expectations. Impact: Mr. Rogers’ reputation as a ‘real countryman’ influenced countless others to embrace rustic life, leading to a nationwide trend in flannel shirts and artisanal farming. Thanks for the hipster revolution, Mr. Rogers.. Fact: Being a 'real countryman' just means you know how to grow potatoes and still believe in fairies at age 40..
• Headline: ADVISES QUITTING LEAGUE.; Uruguayan Paper Says It Has Proved Inability to Maintain Peace.. Impact: Uruguayan paper's advice to quit the League of Nations sparked a trend of nations reconsidering their alliances, ultimately leading to the formation of more exclusive clubs—like high school lunch tables but with nuclear weapons.. Fact: The League of Nations was basically the world's first attempt at a group project, and we all know how those turn out..
• Headline: DESIGNS SUBMITTED FOR BRIDGE TOWERS; DESIGN OF TRIBOROUGH BRIDGE TOWERS.. Impact: The designs for the Triborough Bridge towers set a precedent for future architectural marvels, leading to the skyline we know today, and a lot of confused tourists wondering where the bridge actually leads.. Fact: Designing bridges is like dating: you really have to know how to make connections or else it just ends in a collapse..
• Headline: Newsboy Club's 'Vengeance Squad' Kills Lad In Detroit for Beating One of Its Members. Impact: The tragic death of J. Przystas at the hands of a vengeance squad highlighted the darker side of youth culture, leading to a long string of anti-gang movements and countless poorly written after-school specials.. Fact: Who knew that kids in Detroit had such strong opinions about beating up? Clearly, they took 'an eye for an eye' way too literally..
• Headline: CHANUKAH IS CELEBRATED.; 700 Hear Hoover Message and Pleas for Rededication to Judaism.. Impact: The Chanukah celebration and Hoover's message for rededication inspired generations to rethink their commitments to faith and community, inadvertently leading to the creation of the world’s most awkward family gatherings.. Fact: Chanukah is the festival of lights, but let’s be real: it’s mostly about who can make the best latkes and suffer through Aunt Miriam’s stories for the millionth time..