AUGUST 29, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: France's Push for Syrian Independence. Impact: France's decision to let Syria go free turned into a series of questionable geopolitical decisions that eventually led to more questionable geopolitical decisions. You know, the kind that keeps historians busy writing books and conspiracy theorists in business.. Fact: Fun fact: France's idea of independence for Syria was like giving a toddler the keys to your car and hoping for the best!.
• Headline: HECKSCHER SUES BOB, CHARGING STOCK FRAUD; Alleges He Misrepresented Worth of Chromium Shares--Promoter Attacks Complaint.. Impact: Heckscher's stock fraud lawsuit turned the stock market into a circus, teaching future investors that honesty is overrated. The stock market still hasn't recovered from the lessons learned (or not learned).. Fact: Did you know that calling it 'Chromium' made it sound way cooler than it actually was? It’s just shiny metal, folks!.
• Headline: 'WIRED MUSIC' PLEA FOR PHONES UPHELD; Commission Rules New Type of Entertainment Has Right to Leased Lines. LIKENED TO RADIO SERVICE Decision Holds Telephone Company Cannot Refuse Same Traffic It Gives to Broadcasters. Broadcasting Service Cited. Van Namee Supports Contention.. Impact: The ruling on 'wired music' shaped the way we consume music today. Without it, we might still be stuck listening to elevator music. So, thank you, random commission, for saving our ears!. Fact: Did you know that before this ruling, your phone was just a glorified paperweight when it came to music? Good times..
• Headline: RACING OUTLOOK GOOD.; Purses and Stake Values Will Not Be Cut, Daingerfield Says.. Impact: The good outlook for racing meant that people would continue to bet on horses, which eventually led to the creation of the world's first equine gambling addiction support group. You're welcome, society.. Fact: Fun fact: Racing purses were treated like Christmas bonuses back then. Only instead of 'Ho Ho Ho,' it was more 'Giddy Up!'.
• Headline: GUARD CHICAGO THEATRES.; Police Ordered to "Shoot to Kill" After Lock-Out Bombings.. Impact: The police ordered to 'shoot to kill' after bombings essentially set the stage for every future police action movie, where the stakes were always high and the bad guys always had a dramatic backstory.. Fact: Did you know that calling it a 'lock-out' bombing sounds way more like a wrestling move than a crime? 'And now, the infamous Lock-Out Bombing!'.
• Headline: FIVE WILSON HORSES SOLD FOR $10,700; Account for Bulk of Saratoga Auction in Which 24 Racers Bring $15,275. ACTION GOES FOR $5,400 Son of Olambala Bought by Ryan-- Trysail Is Disposed Of for $900.. Impact: The sale of Wilson's horses at auction stirred the pot of rich people's hobbies. This led to the eventual rise of horse racing as a major spectator sport, where betting became a pastime equivalent to breathing.. Fact: Did you know that buying a racehorse was just a fancy way for rich people to lose money? It's like a high-stakes game of Monopoly, but with real consequences!.
• Headline: TRAPS CROWN WON BY OHIO MINISTER; Rev. Garrison Roebuck, in 10th Try at Clay Targets, Takes Grand American Handicap. AN UNKNOWN IN THE FIELD Victor Undecided Whether to Compete Until Last Moment--Triumphs in Shoot-Off. Ohioans Win Fourth, Sixth. Miss Jay Leads Women.. Impact: Rev. Garrison Roebuck’s victory in shooting might have inspired a whole generation of clergy to take up competitive shooting, thus leading to the infamous 'Clergy Olympics' that never took off (thankfully).. Fact: Did you know that before this, the only thing ministers shot was their mouths off in sermons? Talk about a change in pace!.