AUGUST 15, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Attempted Plane Theft in Flushing. Impact: If N Miller had actually stolen that plane, we might have seen a new wave of airport heists leading to the invention of security lines. Thanks, N!. Fact: Did you know that at this point, stealing planes was a lot harder than just booking a ticket? Ah, the good old days..
• Headline: Argentinians Awarded U.S. Scholarships. Impact: These scholarships likely led to the Argentinian scholars returning home, sparking a cultural renaissance that ultimately resulted in tango lessons becoming a mandatory part of school curricula worldwide.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more prestigious than a scholarship is the ability to say, 'I studied in America' at cocktail parties?.
• Headline: Bankers' Acceptances Plummet in July 1931. Impact: This financial drop set off a chain reaction that led to banks becoming way too cautious, resulting in a future where everyone had to hear the phrase 'your loan is denied' way too many times.. Fact: Did you know that a $140 million drop in bankers' bills is basically a coffee spill in the world of finance? Just a little mess that no one wants to clean up..
• Headline: ACTION BY GOVERNOR LIKELY IN 48 HOURS; Aug. 26 Mentioned as Probable Date for Session Restricted to Immunity Issue. SEABURY JOINS IN APPEAL Charges Wide City Corruption, Sees Tammany Protection and Demands Exposure. Swift Action Expected. ACTION BY GOVERNOR LIKELY IN 48 HOURS. Impact: This governor's action (or lack thereof) would set the stage for political drama that inspired countless reality TV shows in the future. Who needs fiction when you've got American politics?. Fact: Did you know that waiting for a governor's decision can feel like waiting for your phone to update? Spoiler: it never ends well..
• Headline: SPLITS SALARY WITH IDLE.; President Terra of Uruguay Gives $150 Monthly for Relief.. Impact: President Terra's generous donation likely inspired other leaders to give, resulting in the world's first 'I'm a Better Leader Because I Donate' competition.. Fact: Did you know that $150 a month might sound impressive until you realize that's just a fancy dinner for two in some places? Thanks, President Terra!.
• Headline: Ponzi Soon Eligible for Parole.. Impact: Ponzi's potential parole might have inspired an entire generation of scam artists to dream big. After all, if he could get out, why couldn't they?. Fact: Did you know that Ponzi schemes are basically just a high-stakes game of musical chairs, but with money? And guess what? There’s always one less chair..
• Headline: Sir Owen Seaman Operated Upon.. Impact: Sir Owen Seaman's operation might have led to advancements in surgical techniques, eventually leading to the modern-day miracle of outpatient procedures. Who knew surgery could be so... non-invasive?. Fact: Did you know that being operated on can be a little more exciting than a trip to the DMV? At least the stakes are higher!.
• Headline: Children Get Baldwin Estate.. Impact: The Baldwin estate distribution could have sparked a family feud so intense that it would inspire countless soap operas. Because nothing says 'family' like a good old-fashioned fight over money.. Fact: Did you know that probating a will is basically like playing Monopoly, but with real money and real emotions? Good luck!.
• Headline: Farm Tenancy Increased in Forty-one States; Fell in New York, Connecticut and Four Others. Impact: The increase in farm tenancy could have led to a future where everyone suddenly decided they were farmers, leading to an avocado toast shortage and the rise of hipster cafes.. Fact: Did you know that farm tenancy is basically just a glorified way of saying, 'I don’t want to buy a house so I’ll just rent some land'?.
• Headline: ARCHERY TITLE WON BY GREENWICH TEAM; Captures Crown in National Tourney With 2,017 at 60-Yard Range.. Impact: The Greenwich team's win in archery might have inspired a future generation to take up the sport, eventually leading to the creation of competitive archery-themed reality shows. Move over, Survivor!. Fact: Did you know that shooting arrows at a target is basically just a very intense version of darts? Who knew it could be so competitive?.