JULY 23, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Assassination Attempt on Bombay Governor. Impact: Had the bullet not been stopped by Sir John Hotson's pocketbook, the Governor of Bombay might have been a martyr, inspiring an entire generation of students to take up arms against their oppressors. Instead, they just learned to invest in better fashion choices.. Fact: Pocketbooks: the unsung heroes of history and the reason why some politicians insist on wearing vests..
• Headline: School Repair Contracts Held Up for Review. Impact: The decision to hold up school repairs led to a decade-long debate on whether educational facilities should be built on solid foundations or simply be propped up by sarcasm and good intentions.. Fact: Suspended bids: the adult version of 'I swear I'll do it tomorrow.'.
• Headline: Discuss Debt Plan at Union Square.. Impact: Hoover's debt plan discussions might have inspired future leaders to take a break and actually consider the implications of debt, or they could have just led to more confusing economic jargon.. Fact: Discussing debt in Union Square is like having a barbecue in a rainstorm—everyone shows up, but no one really enjoys it..
• Headline: RADIO-TELEPHONE FOR PERU; To Link Nation With Rest of World --Contract to All America Cables.. Impact: The introduction of radio-telephone in Peru created a chain reaction of connectivity that eventually led to someone accidentally calling their ex while trying to order pizza, setting off a string of poorly timed reunions.. Fact: Radio-telephones: because sending smoke signals was just too last century..
• Headline: CANTON SAYS CHIANG SEEKS WAR ON JAPAN; Asserts Nanking Leader Offers to Resign if Southerners Will Join in the Move. SHOTS FIRED AT MINISTER T.V. Soong Barely Escapes-- His Secretary Is Killed--Two Others Wounded. Alleged Move Held Expedient. Soong Fired At in Shanghai. CANTON SAYS CHIANG SEEKS WAR ON JAPAN Shanghai to Mourn Today. Chen Arrives in Japan. War Move Denied as Absurd.. Impact: Canton's declaration about Chiang seeking war might have inadvertently fueled international tensions, reminding us all how quickly things can escalate from a coffee chat to an all-out brawl.. Fact: Accusations of war seeking: the original way to start a rumor mill and ensure your name stays in the headlines..
• Headline: The Times, London, Calls Parley Disappointing; Blames U.S. and France for Evading Real Issues. Impact: The London Times' disappointment with the parley could have influenced future diplomatic talks, leading to an ongoing cycle of blame-shifting that remains a hallmark of international relations.. Fact: Blaming the U.S. and France for world issues: a time-honored tradition that continues to thrive like a bad sitcom..
• Headline: LAWYERS' FISTS FLY AT GITLIN HEARING; Steinbrink, Punched on Jaw by Attorney Who Says He Was Called Shyster, Hits Back. NEW HOSPITAL PLEA FILED Decision on Incorporation Likely Next Week--Fitness of Head Debated at Session. Row Outgrowth of Protest. Physicians Testify.. Impact: The lawyers' brawl at the Gitlin hearing sparked an era where courtroom drama became a spectator sport, paving the way for reality TV and the rise of legal influencers.. Fact: When lawyers throw punches, it’s usually a sign that they’ve run out of arguments—and possibly a good script..
• Headline: AIR ATTACKS 'DEPLETE' LONDON'S POPULATION; Defense Forces Are Unable to Cut Off Invading Bombers From Finest Buildings.. Impact: Air attacks on London resulted in a heightened sense of community, with citizens bonding over shared experiences of dodging debris, forever altering the way Londoners viewed their city—mostly as a game of 'dodge the bomb.'. Fact: Londoners have perfected the art of resilience, but they’ll still complain about the weather when bombs aren't falling..