JULY 19, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Launch of Submarine 'Hope' in 1931. Impact: The launch of the 'Hope' submarine ironically led to a future where people hoped submarines would solve all their problems—like the problem of being underwater in debt.. Fact: Naming a submarine 'Hope' is like naming a pet rock 'Adventure.'.
• Headline: THREE NEW YORK WIVES SEEK RENO DIVORCES; Mrs. Marian Van R. Pettit, Mrs. Theresa C. Barnes and Mrs. L.H. Pierce File Suits.. Impact: These three divorces might have sparked a trend of 'Beverly Hills 90210' style melodrama, where relationships became more about public image than actual love.. Fact: Reno divorces are like fast food; they may be quick, but they leave a bad aftertaste in the long run..
• Headline: REFUND TO GLORIA CARUSO.; Board of Tax Appeals Allows $26,038 for Three Years.. Impact: Gloria Caruso's tax refund paved the way for countless individuals to realize that maybe they should have a refund party instead of a birthday party. Who knew taxes could be so festive?. Fact: $26,038 for three years? That's what I call an overdue birthday gift!.
• Headline: BALDWIN UNIT CHARTERED.; New Concern Will Finance Locomotive Company's Receivables.. Impact: The chartering of the Baldwin unit might have led to a future where all locomotive companies were required to finance their own drama. Train wrecks, anyone?. Fact: The only thing worse than being chartered is being stuck behind a slow train on a Monday morning..
• Headline: SAO PAULO HAILS BARRETO.; Enthusiastic Welcome Received by New Governor of State.. Impact: Barreto's warm welcome may have established a new precedent for future politicians: you can get away with anything as long as you bring enough confetti.. Fact: They say politics is show business for ugly people, but with a welcome like that, Barreto might just be the exception!.
• Headline: POLICE CALL FIREMEN TO SUBDUE BIG JANITOR; Worker Chokes a Man, Rips Coat From Another and Smashes Car Window in Street Dispute.. Impact: The big janitor incident likely inspired countless sitcoms where the janitor is actually a superhero. Who knew cleaning supplies could save the day?. Fact: Choking a man and smashing car windows? Clearly, this janitor took 'getting physical' way too seriously..
• Headline: SUIT IS DISMISSED AGAINST NATANSON; Justice Carew Holds Transfers Were Valid in Claim for Deficiency Judgment.. Impact: The dismissal of the suit against Natanson might have led to a legal loophole that inspired countless future lawsuits over the most trivial matters. Thanks, Natanson!. Fact: In the world of lawsuits, being dismissed is like getting a participation trophy—everyone gets one, but nobody’s really happy about it..
• Headline: PILGRIMS REACH IRELAND.; 200 Americans to Climb Mountain Where St. Patrick Prayed.. Impact: The pilgrimage to Croagh Patrick might have motivated an entire generation of Americans to think that climbing mountains is a spiritual experience, when in reality, it's just a great way to avoid your gym membership.. Fact: 200 Americans climbing a mountain? Talk about a group project gone rogue!.