JUNE 28, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Feminine Ideals in 1931 Society. Impact: This quest for oaks inspired a generation of women to take up gardening, inadvertently leading to the rise of the home and garden TV shows that would dominate the airwaves centuries later. Who knew that an obsession with vines would create the next wave of reality TV stars?. Fact: In the 1920s, many believed that the strength of a man was directly proportional to the number of oaks he could fell, which explains why we're still waiting for the return of the 'strong man'—he's probably stuck in a tree somewhere..
• Headline: Railroad Earnings Report: May 1931. Impact: These railroad earnings gave birth to the world's first accountant who, after realizing numbers could be used to track profits, decided to start a spreadsheet revolution that would haunt humanity for decades to come.. Fact: Railroad earnings reports: because who doesn't love a good old-fashioned number-crunching session to spice up their day?.
• Headline: Bondy Dog Wins Best in Show Again. Impact: This dog show victory triggered a chain reaction leading to the invention of dog fashion weeks, where pooches strut their stuff on runways, and humans ponder if their pets are better dressed than they are.. Fact: Bondy Dog, originally named 'Sir Woofington IV', has been training for this moment since he was a puppy, proving that even dogs can have a better career trajectory than most humans..
• Headline: RUSSIA'S FIVE-YEAR PLAN: ITS WORLD MEANING; General Haskell, Viewing the Nation Working at Forced Draught, Believes Her Exports Will Decline When Machinery Imports Have Ended and Her New Industries Devote Themselves to Home Needs What Prompted the Plan The Economic Battle Line. The Autostroy Project. World's Greatest Power Plant. Activity at Kharkov. The Chances of Success. Labor and Materials. Attitude of the People. The Time of Completion. Effects on the World. Blow to American Trade. Future Adjustments.. Impact: This ambitious plan not only set the stage for Russia's heavy industrialization, but also led to future generations arguing over whether five-year plans or New Year’s resolutions are the more effective way to achieve goals—spoiler alert: neither.. Fact: The Five-Year Plan was so intense that even the planners needed a five-year nap afterward, which explains most of the delays..
• Headline: June Drama By the Seine; JUNE DRAMA BY THE SEINE. Impact: This drama sparked the creation of countless romantic novels and films set by beautiful rivers, leading to a world where every couple thinks a riverside picnic is the ultimate date—until it rains.. Fact: The Seine has had more dramatic moments than a telenovela, but without the commercial breaks. Imagine the suspense!.
• Headline: TO HIKE OR TO SAUNTER.. Impact: This debate on hiking versus sauntering led to the eventual invention of fitness trackers, thus ensuring that people could now feel guilty about both hiking too much and sauntering too little.. Fact: In the world of outdoor activities, 'saunter' was a term coined by those who wanted to sound fancy while actually just enjoying a leisurely stroll..
• Headline: ALFONSO SILENT ON VOTE.; Spends Night Before Spanish Elections Quietly In London.. Impact: Alfonso's silence before the elections led to a series of political mishaps that would make even the most seasoned politicians shudder at the thought of a quiet night before an important vote.. Fact: Spending a quiet night before elections is a time-honored tradition—just ask all the candidates who spend their time contemplating their life choices instead of preparing speeches..
• Headline: NINE ECONOMISTS SAIL.; Carnegie Peace Endowment Group Off for Europe.. Impact: This group of economists sailing off to Europe inadvertently sparked a trend of economists traveling for conferences, thus leading to a global explosion in the number of boring cocktail parties where the word 'inflation' was mentioned more than 'fun'.. Fact: The only thing more boring than nine economists discussing their findings is nine economists discussing their findings on a boat. Spoiler alert: the boat doesn't even have Wi-Fi..
• Headline: OLDS'S 97 ANNEXES JAMAICA BAY SHOOT; Takes Scratch Cup at Bergen Beach Club--Walling Is Handicap Victor. Lewis Breaks 219 Straight.. Impact: This shooting championship instigated a bizarre trend where women began dominating the sport, leading to a future where competitive shooting would be a viable career path alongside influencer—because why not?. Fact: Olds's win at Jamaica Bay means he’s now the reigning champion of the most obscure sport that no one knew existed until this very moment..
• Headline: WHAT PROVOKED AMERICA TO WAR; New Light on the Genesis of the German Submarine Campaign The Submarine War. Impact: This investigation into the submarine campaign revealed the complexities of international relations, ultimately teaching future generations that sometimes, even a little water under the bridge can lead to global conflict—literally.. Fact: Submarines: because what better way to wage war than by hiding underwater like a disgruntled teenager avoiding chores?.