MAY 13, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Chimney Sitter's Striking Challenge. Impact: This extraordinary feat inspired future generations to seek out increasingly bizarre protest methods, eventually leading to the popular sport of extreme sitting, where participants attempt to remain seated for days in coffee shops while claiming to be 'working on their novel.'. Fact: Sitting in a chimney for over 11 days is an impressive endurance feat, but it’s also a great way to become the least popular person at a holiday party..
• Headline: Spanish Foreign Minister in Geneva.. Impact: The presence of the Spanish Foreign Minister in Geneva led to a chain reaction of diplomatic discussions that ultimately resulted in the creation of the world's most tedious board game: Diplomacy, where no one wins and everyone loses friends.. Fact: Did you know that Geneva is home to more international organizations than actual residents? It’s like a city built for people who love meetings—very exciting, right?.
• Headline: JUNIOR LEAGUE OPENS CINCINNATI CONVENTION; Forty Informal "Neighborhood" Luncheons Held for Delegates of National Organization.. Impact: The opening of this convention marked the beginning of a long-lasting tradition of neighborhood luncheons that would eventually evolve into the modern-day brunch, where people gather to discuss how to avoid discussing politics while consuming copious amounts of avocado toast.. Fact: Brunch: because who doesn’t want to mix breakfast and lunch while pretending to enjoy the taste of regret?.
• Headline: Columbia Alumni Charter Boat For the Poughkeepsie Regatta. Impact: This seemingly mundane boat charter led to the development of the ‘Alumni Regatta’ tradition, where alumni gather to relive their glory days, only to realize that they can no longer row as fast as they used to but can still consume beer like champions.. Fact: Regattas: the only time it’s socially acceptable to wear boat shoes and complain about your knees in public..
• Headline: SIAM'S KING IMPROVES AFTER EYE OPERATION; Bulletin Says Wound Shows Signs of Healing and Indicates He Will Regain His Sight.. Impact: The King's recovery sparked a significant cultural renaissance in Siam, leading to a boom in art and literature inspired by the newfound appreciation for sight—a gentle reminder that sometimes it takes losing something to truly value it.. Fact: Eye surgeries in history often led to strange superstitions. In Siam, it was once believed that seeing the future was a side effect—thankfully, that was just a rumor!.
• Headline: AMERICAN CLUBS FAILURE IN RUSSIA; Specialists Try Forming One Against Expert Advice and Find Task Hopeless. SOVIET GIVES ALTERNATIVE But First Meeting of Technicians With Natives Results in an Unfortunate Session. Veteran's Words Unheeded. Hour and Half--in Russian.. Impact: This failure set the stage for future American attempts at diplomacy, leading to a long history of misunderstandings, awkward toasts, and the creation of the phrase 'lost in translation'—which ironically, was never really lost at all.. Fact: American clubs in Russia: bringing you the best of awkward cultural exchanges since the dawn of time..
• Headline: ENGLISH LORD MAYOR IN AMITY PLEA HERE; Chief Executive of Liverpool Says the Two Nations Should Join in World Leadership.. Impact: The Lord Mayor’s plea for unity between nations kickstarted a series of increasingly awkward diplomatic engagements, leading to the modern tradition of international summits where leaders shake hands and nod while secretly wondering who will order pizza.. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic summits often include more small talk than actual policy discussion? It’s basically a global networking event with less enthusiasm and more suits..