MAY 7, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: North Carolina Defends Ballots in 1931. Impact: This little tussle over ballots eventually leads to a fierce debate over states' rights, which somehow spirals into modern-day memes about voter suppression and conspiracy theories. Who knew ballots could be the root of all drama?. Fact: Did you know that North Carolina has more laws about voting than there are flavors at your local ice cream shop? It's practically a buffet of bureaucratic fun!.
• Headline: Soviet Art Sale in Berlin. Impact: This sale sets off a chain reaction in the art world, leading to the rise of art dealers, the ‘art investment’ craze, and ultimately, the birth of hipster artists who think selling their finger paintings for $10,000 is a legitimate career.. Fact: Did you know that during this time, the term 'modern art' was just an excuse for people to sell splatters of paint? And here we are today, still pretending to understand it!.
• Headline: JERSEY CLUBWOMEN MEET.; Convention to Discuss Bill Boards, Child Welfare and World Court.. Impact: The discussions here lead to an eventual explosion of community activism, which, let’s be honest, probably resulted in a cookie bake sale that funded a local park instead of addressing the real issues. Thanks for the cookies, though.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more entertaining than a room full of clubwomen is watching them try to agree on a dessert for the next bake sale. Spoiler: It never ends well..
• Headline: Queen Helen Quits Bucharest for Belgrade; Parley of Carol and Alexander Forced Move. Impact: Queen Helen's departure sparks a series of royal family dramas that could rival any soap opera, complete with betrayals, unexpected alliances, and a dramatic season finale that leaves everyone gasping.. Fact: Did you know that royal families have more drama than any reality TV show? One wrong move and you’re out of the family photo—and yes, there are definitely family photo shoots!.
• Headline: IDLE DECREASE IN FRANCE.; Total Receiving Aid Drops From 51,804 on April 11 to 49,958.. Impact: This decrease in aid recipients leads to a gradual shift in social policies in France, which eventually creates a narrative that inspires generations of people to argue about welfare systems over coffee in Parisian cafes for decades to come.. Fact: Fun fact: The French have a knack for making anything sound more dramatic, including a drop in aid recipients. It’s basically ‘Les Misérables’ living on repeat!.
• Headline: ERICSSON TELEPHONE SHOWS GAIN FOR 1930; $1,922,000 Net Profit Reported, Against $1,905,000 in 1929-- 15% Increase in Subscribers.. Impact: This tiny profit margin kicks off a century of relentless competition in telecommunications, leading to the invention of cell phones, texting, and the delightful world of spam calls. Thanks, Ericsson!. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked up all the spam calls you get in a year, they would reach the moon and back? Just kidding—probably only to the nearest pizza place..
• Headline: FRENCH SUBMIT PLAN OF BRIAND TO BRITAIN; Hope for Sympathetic Approval at Least for Counter-Move to German Proposal. PARTICIPATION IS UNLIKELY British Are Not in Position to Buy Stipulated Amounts of Wheat From Europe. OPPOSE EXCLUDING SOVIET Berlin, Uninformed as to Details, Sees Briand "Punishing" it for Customs Union Surprise. Europe or Empire. Reserved Opinion on Merits. Berlin Uninformed.. Impact: This proposal leads to a complicated web of diplomatic relationships that ultimately results in more treaties than anyone can keep track of, paving the way for future generations to study what not to do in international relations.. Fact: Did you know that most international treaties are like relationships? They start with a lot of hope and enthusiasm, and then slowly devolve into passive-aggressive notes..
• Headline: 600 LISBON TROOPS TO WAR ON BOLAMA; Expedition Expects No Trouble in Crushing Revolt--Rebellions Have Cost $2,700,000.. Impact: The deployment of these troops becomes a historical footnote that leads to a lengthy discussion on colonialism and its consequences, which, spoiler alert, are never as simple as 'just send in the troops.'. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more expensive than sending troops to suppress a rebellion is sending them to a buffet afterward. And yes, the food is always cold!.
• Headline: AHRENBERG FLIES TO THE BASE CAMP; HOPES TO RESCUE EXPLORER. Impact: Ahrenberg's flight sparks a fascination with exploration that leads to countless people believing they can conquer the great outdoors, resulting in a spike in hiking accidents and the invention of overly dramatic survival reality shows.. Fact: Did you know that most explorers probably just wanted a quiet vacation until they realized they had to climb mountains and avoid polar bears? Talk about a vacation gone wrong!.