APRIL 2, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: John Gray's Swift Fraud Conviction. Impact: This swift conviction led to a chain reaction of trust issues in stock markets. Investors began checking under their beds for hidden stock certificates, causing a temporary spike in home renovations.. Fact: Juries today take longer to decide if pineapple belongs on pizza than this jury took to convict a fraudster. Priorities, people!.
• Headline: Judges Brennan and Hartshorne Join Court. Impact: The swearing-in of these judges sparked a trend of dramatically shorter courtroom dramas, leading to a nationwide phenomenon of people actually finishing their lunch breaks on time.. Fact: In a world where judges are sworn in, it’s comforting to know they aren't just sworn at by disgruntled defendants..
• Headline: Clean-Up Demands in White Plains, NY. Impact: This demand initiated a nationwide obsession with cleanliness, ultimately leading to the invention of the Swiffer and a new era of people pretending to enjoy cleaning.. Fact: Turns out, ‘housecleaning’ has nothing to do with vacuuming your social life..
• Headline: SET FIRES TO GET "A KICK."; Four Dansville (N.Y.) Youths Held for Series of Blazes.. Impact: The reckless escapades of these youths ignited a nationwide ‘don’t play with fire’ campaign, which ironically increased the sales of marshmallows and hot dogs.. Fact: If only these kids knew that ‘kick’ could also mean jumping on a trampoline instead of playing with flames!.
• Headline: TORCHIO RISES IN EDISON CO; Officer Is Credited With Originating Group Insurance in 1910.. Impact: Torchio's rise in Edison Co. led to the widespread adoption of group insurance, which ironically encouraged more people to take risks, just to see if they could cash in on it.. Fact: Thanks to group insurance, getting injured at work became a team sport, complete with its own cheerleading squad..
• Headline: CONFER ON COPPER COSTS.; Companies' Aides Promise Cooperation in Tariff Board Inquiry.. Impact: This conference over copper costs sparked a nationwide debate over tariffs that would later inspire countless dinner table arguments amongst families who just wanted to eat in peace.. Fact: Copper prices fluctuating is just like the stock market, but with fewer people shouting on Wall Street and more people shouting at home..