MARCH 30, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gandhi's Policies Front and Center in 1931. Impact: Gandhi's unopposed policies led to a ripple effect where people started taking 'unopposed' as a new social norm. This birthed the infamous 'silent protest' movement, where people just sat in parks and stared at pigeons instead of getting involved in politics. Ironically, this eventually led to the rise of meditation retreats.. Fact: Did you know that Gandhi was so influential that even pigeons started protesting for better breadcrumbs?.
• Headline: Guelph Art Donation to Pennsylvania Museum. Impact: The donation of 14th-century Guelph art sparked a bizarre trend where museums worldwide began hoarding random artifacts, leading to the Great Guelph Art Hoarding Incident of 2030, where museums across the globe were filled with random junk nobody wanted.. Fact: Fun fact: The 14th century was so long ago that even the art was like, 'Why am I still here?'.
• Headline: Cunard's Dramatic Profit Decline in 1930. Impact: Cunard's profit drop led to a chain reaction of cruise lines trying to cut costs. This ultimately resulted in the infamous 'cruise budget' where travelers opted for inflatable rafts instead of luxury liners, and the phrase 'roughing it in style' was born.. Fact: In 1930, $93,005 was considered a fortune, but now it's just enough to buy a slightly used pencil in Silicon Valley..
• Headline: Presidential Disingenuousness.. Impact: Hoover's misstatements led to a new political tactic known as the 'Hoover Shuffle,' where politicians mastered the art of saying a lot while meaning absolutely nothing. This tactic is still alive and well today, evident in many political debates.. Fact: Presidential misstatements have become an Olympic sport, with candidates competing for the gold in verbal gymnastics..
• Headline: Boy Burglars, Led by Lad, 14, Admit 11 Thefts; Got $5,000 Loot in Glen Cove in Six Months. Impact: The rise of teenage burglars led to the creation of the 'Burglar's Code,' which dictated that if you were under 15, you wouldn't get a serious sentence. This eventually inspired the 'Kids Will Be Kids' defense, which is still widely used today.. Fact: Did you know that J Grieco’s biggest regret was not stealing a trophy for 'most impressive heist' instead of just cash?.
• Headline: THE SICK AND DEPENDENT.. Impact: Bruno's study on sickness and dependency launched a new field of 'sick and tired' studies, leading to a global movement advocating for the rights of those who just wanted a nap without being judged.. Fact: The phrase 'I'm sick and tired' is actually a legitimate scientific condition now. Who knew complaining could be so beneficial?.
• Headline: DR. KRASS DECRIES RACE BIAS.; Hails Palm Sunday as Historic Link of Jew and Christian.. Impact: Dr. Krass's decrying of race bias caused a butterfly effect that eventually led to the creation of the 'Universal Day of Apologies,' where everyone was required to apologize for at least one thing, creating endless awkwardness in social situations.. Fact: Palm Sunday is the only day where people can wave branches and still be considered holy instead of just weird..
• Headline: PROBATION REFORMS SOUGHT BY SEABURY; Reorganization to Remedy the System's Admitted Break Down Is Aim of Inquiry. MANY TO BE QUESTIONED Type of Officers Supervising Women's Court Cases Challenged. Improper Supervision Charged. PROBATION REFORMS SOUGHT BY SEABURY Reform Associations Urged.. Impact: Seabury's inquiry into probation reforms led to a massive overhaul of the legal system, resulting in the introduction of 'Probationary Pizza Fridays,' where probation officers were required to bring pizza to court every Friday to lighten the mood.. Fact: The only thing more broken than the probation system was the pizza delivery promise on those Fridays..
• Headline: DR. GATES DEDICATES CROSS AT ST. JOHN'S; Memorial to Helen T. Wells Is the Gift of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Bowman Dodson. MADE OF GOLD AND SILVER Dean Calls Palm Sunday the Day That More Than Any Other Symbolizes Christ as King.. Impact: The dedication of the cross was a pivotal moment that signified the merging of traditions, leading to a future where people could celebrate Christmas and Halloween simultaneously without anyone batting an eye. It became known as the 'Holy Pumpkin' era.. Fact: The cross was made of gold and silver, which is just a fancy way of saying it was more valuable than most people's retirement funds..