MARCH 10, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dr. Honan Champions Tuberculosis Campaign. Impact: Little did they know that the campaign against tuberculosis would eventually lead to the invention of the modern health insurance system. So, thanks to Dr. Honan, we now have to pay for health plans that are as clear as mud!. Fact: Did you know that tuberculosis was once known as 'consumption'? Probably because it was consuming lives faster than a teenager consumes pizza!.
• Headline: Boirado Sentenced After Newark Shooting. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction that led to the popularization of 'Carry a concealed weapon' laws, prompting everyone from grandmas to teenagers to think they need a sidearm for a trip to the grocery store.. Fact: Did you know that carrying a revolver can lead to unintended consequences like, oh I don't know, getting sentenced to prison? Guess that’s one way to avoid a boring weekend!.
• Headline: Princess's Recovery After Appendectomy. Impact: The royal family’s public hospital visit inspired a trend of celebrities flaunting their hospital stays on social media, which has since escalated into a competition of who can look best in a hospital gown.. Fact: Fun fact: Appendectomies used to be a last resort, but now they’re just another excuse for royalty to take a break from their busy schedules of doing absolutely nothing!.
• Headline: WETS LEAD IN POLL OF 200 IN CONGRESS; Confidential Views of Two-thirds Are for Modification or Repeal. BUT MOST DRY AS TO VOTE Prediction Obtained by Magazine Is Protestant Wet Democrat Would Beat Hoover in 1932.. Impact: This poll signaled the beginning of the end for Prohibition, which later led to a massive boom in speakeasies, the rise of organized crime, and the creation of some of the most infamous cocktail recipes we still love today. Thanks, Wets!. Fact: Did you know that Prohibition was so popular that it turned ordinary folks into criminals overnight? Who knew that banning booze would spawn an underground economy? Cheers to that!.
• Headline: LINERS TO CARRY CADETS.; Oxford and Cambridge Engineers Will Get Sea Experience.. Impact: This event inspired a naval tradition that would lead to countless drunken sailor tales, which in turn would eventually inspire more than a few terrible sea shanties. Thanks for nothing, cadets!. Fact: Did you know that the best engineers can often make ships float, but they can't help you float your way through a drunken night at sea? Good luck with that, cadets!.
• Headline: PROPHET WATSON.. Impact: Watson's prophetic statements might have been lost to history, but they undoubtedly influenced countless conspiracy theories about who really runs the world. Spoiler: it's probably not the prophets.. Fact: Did you know that being called a 'prophet' in politics usually means you get to predict the future, but it rarely involves actually having any power? Just ask any former presidential candidate!.
• Headline: M'NIDER URGES TRUST OF CANADIANS IN US; Envoy, in Toronto Speech, Says Future of Continent Lies With the Two Countries.. Impact: M'Nider's push for trust may have inadvertently set the stage for future cross-border misunderstandings involving hockey and maple syrup—because nothing says friendship like a good ol' hockey fight!. Fact: Did you know that Canadians and Americans argue over the silliest things, like who invented the best version of a pancake? Trust is a slippery slope when breakfast is involved!.
• Headline: ROOSEVELT NAMES SEVEN.; Senate Confirms Five Reappointed to State Posts.. Impact: Roosevelt’s habit of naming people led to the infamous 'name game' that politicians now play, where the key to success is simply knowing the right people—or just knowing how to spell their names correctly.. Fact: Did you know that getting appointed to a state post is basically like winning the political lottery? Just without the money or the glamorous lifestyle—it's more like a job with a lot of meetings!.