FEBRUARY 11, 1931

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ubico Set to Lead Guatemala in 1931. Impact: Ubico's presidency led to a series of events that would eventually result in U.S. intervention decades later, as his authoritarian rule made everyone wonder if a 'democracy' was just a fancy word for 'tyranny with a bow tie'.. Fact: Did you know that Ubico believed he was the reincarnation of a Mayan king? Talk about an ego boost!.
• Headline: Chile Nitrate Loan Announcement. Impact: This loan helped fuel Chile's nitrate industry, which would later result in companies arguing over who gets to exploit natural resources while locals looked on wondering why they can't have nice things.. Fact: Fun fact: Nitrate was so valuable that it was literally referred to as 'white gold'! Just think of all the poor farmers who wished their crops were worth even a fraction of that..
• Headline: New Paris Embassy Construction Begins. Impact: The construction of a new embassy in Paris was the start of many a diplomat's love affair with baguettes, wine, and the idea that they could run away from their responsibilities in their home countries.. Fact: Did you know? Building embassies is basically like playing Monopoly, but with real money and much higher stakes!.
• Headline: REICHSTAG FASCISTS WALK OUT AND PLAN WEIMAR PARLIAMENT; Nationalists Join Them, Vowing They Will Return Only toDefend Their Rights.REFUSE TO HEAR CURTIUS Foreign Minister Says Nation Has Only Promised to "Try" to Adhere to Young Plan.OPPOSES QUITTING LEAGUEDenies German War Guilt and Sees Relations With France Aboutto Improve. Nationalists Define Stand. Curtius Reports on Geneva. REICHSTAG FASCISTS BOLT PARLIAMENT The Colonial Question. Some Boycotters Return. Editor Ridicules Action.. Impact: This walkout was a key moment in the rise of extremist politics in Germany, leading to a lovely little episode we now refer to as World War II. Who knew throwing tantrums could have such dire consequences?. Fact: Fun fact: The Weimar Republic was known for its cultural boom, but also for its political instability. It’s like being in a relationship with someone who’s both a genius and a total disaster!.
• Headline: Alienation Suit Names W.D. Birch. Impact: This alienation suit might have made W.D. Birch rethink his life choices, but it also set the stage for future legal dramas played out in courtrooms, where people's dirty laundry is aired for everyone to see. Reality TV, anyone?. Fact: Did you know that alienation of affections lawsuits can sometimes lead to settlements that pay for a couple's honeymoon? Nothing says 'I love you' like a lawsuit!.
• Headline: Open Marathon-Athens Conduit.. Impact: The opening of this conduit not only connected two cities but also ensured that countless tourists would spend hours getting lost in the wrong part of Athens, wondering why they signed up for a marathon in the first place.. Fact: Did you know? The Marathon-Athens conduit is so long that it could probably double as a self-guided tour for those who enjoy more cardio than they bargained for!.
• Headline: BONUS LOAN PLAN BACKED BY LEADERS; Bacharach Proposal for Extensions, Totaling $500,000,000, Accepted by Party in House.PATMAN ATTACKS BANKERSProponent of Full Payment Lays Opposition to Fear of "EnormousProfit" Cut. "Needy" Qualification Cut Out. Patman Assails Bankers' Stand.. Impact: This bonus loan plan was a great way for politicians to appear generous while simultaneously dodging accountability, setting a precedent for future politicians to promise the moon while delivering a donut.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more inflated than these bonus loans was the egos of the politicians pushing them!.
• Headline: EDWARDS IS OPERATED ON.; General Undergoes a Blood Transfusion and Improves.. Impact: This blood transfusion was a moment that not only saved General Edwards but also sparked a wave of medical advancements, leading to a time where we can now transfuse blood with more finesse than a barista making your morning latte.. Fact: Did you know that blood transfusions were once thought to be a cure-all? Imagine getting shipped off to the hospital for a hangnail!.
• Headline: RIVERSIDE CARILLON TO BE HEARD 8 MILES; New Mechanism to Make the Control of Unit an Easy Matter for the Operator. BIG BELL TO STRIKE HOURS Quarter-Chiming Also Expected to Be Audible in Manhattan, Parts of New Jersey and Queens.. Impact: With the carillon's sound being heard over such a distance, one can only imagine the number of angry people yelling at the clock for being 'too loud'—a problem that would echo through the ages.. Fact: Did you know? The Riverside carillon's bells are so big that they probably have their own zip code!.
• Headline: REALTY MAN IN COURT AS A DOG POISONER; J.J. Smith Accused of Ordering His Housekeeper to Spread Powder on Lexington Av.. Impact: This court case brought to light the darker side of real estate, leading to a series of unfortunate events where landlords might have thought twice before using 'creative' methods to deal with problematic pets.. Fact: Did you know that dog poisoning cases are a great reminder to not trust just anyone with your beloved pet? Because really, who needs enemies when you have a J.J. Smith in your life?.