DECEMBER 24, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: Metropolitan Singers Perform in New Moon. Impact: This event marked the rise of the karaoke craze 50 years later, where people believe they can sing just as well as these two, leading to endless ear torture in bars worldwide.. Fact: Fun fact: Singing in the shower is scientifically proven to make you feel like a superstar, no matter how off-key you are!.
• Headline: TELLS OF 'POLITICIANS' FEE; Jersey City Restaurant Man Says He Paid $20,000 Seeking License.. Impact: This incident kicked off a trend where restaurant owners began to believe that bribing politicians was a standard part of business expenses, leading to a spike in ‘creative accounting’ practices.. Fact: Did you know that in some places, paying a politician a 'fee' is just another term for 'charity donation'? At least the charity gets a nice dinner out of it!.
• Headline: PRESIDENT RESTORES M'CRAY'S CIVIL RIGHTS; Grants Full Pardon to Indiana Ex-Governor--Eighty Federal Prisoners Getting Parole.. Impact: This act of clemency triggered a nationwide debate on prison reform, leading to a bizarre chain of events where every ex-convict started writing memoirs, resulting in a literary boom.. Fact: Did you know that pardoning someone can sometimes lead to them becoming a local celebrity? Welcome to the paradox of justice!.
• Headline: PLEADS FOR WORLD COURT.; Gen. Stotesbury Says It Offers Way to "Cultivate Habit of Peace.". Impact: This plea inspired future generations to believe that courts could solve all problems, leading to a series of ridiculous lawsuits over things like the legality of pineapple on pizza.. Fact: Did you know that the 'habit of peace' sometimes leads to more peace treaties being broken than kept? It's like a soap opera, but with more global ramifications!.
• Headline: TEN STOWAWAYS ON SHIPS.; Found on Western World After Repeated Raids on Pantry.. Impact: The discovery of these stowaways led to the establishment of maritime laws requiring snacks to be kept under lock and key, subsequently leading to the world's first 'Snack Security' teams.. Fact: Did you know that stowaways are basically the original hipsters? They were trying to get on board before it was cool!.